When someone on your team screws up or has one of those “what were they thinking” moments, particularly when the stakes are high. You need to figure out what’s going on– fast. In these moments of stress, it’s tempting to shortcut communication with blunt, intimidating questions to get quick answers.

But here’s the challenge: asking intimidating questions can stifle creativity and problem-solving, leaving your people hesitant to share information, let alone ideas to fix the situation.

Intimidating Questions That Disengage Employees

The most dangerous and intimidating questions are those where the asker already “knows” the answer, and just wants the receiver to “get it right.”  Closed-ended questions can have a similar impact. It can come across as passive-aggressive to pretend you’re curious when your intent is for your direct report to admit a mistake or agree with you.

Here are a few classic intimidating questions.

• What do I have to do to get you to…?
• Why did you do that?
• Did I ask you to do that?
• Is that really working?
• What is your experience in this area?
• Who gave you the authority to make that decision?
• Is that your final decision?
• Are you sure about that?
• What makes you think that will work?

The Impact of Intimidating Questions

Think about it—when was the last time you felt energized and motivated after someone asked you, “Why did you do that?” The same is true for your team. They feel criticized rather than supported, and this defensiveness leads to less creativity and more playing it safe. Which is the last thing you need when dealing with complex challenges.

Instead of defaulting to intimidating questions that unintentionally shut a team member down, pause and reframe your approach with empathy.

A simple shift from, “Why did you do that?” to, “Can you walk me through your thought process?” changes the entire tone of the conversation. It signals that you’re genuinely interested in understanding their reasoning, rather than criticizing their actions.

The Power of Asking Better Questions

So, what do the right questions look like? They’re questions that help your team think critically, encourage them to explore new ideas, and ultimately guide them toward ownership of the solution. When your team feels safe to share their thoughts, they’re more likely to engage deeply with the problem and come up with innovative solutions.

Here are a few empowering alternatives to common intimidating questions:

Instead of, “What makes you think that will work?” try, “What options have you explored, and what led you to this one?”

Or, Instead of, “Who gave you the authority?” try, “How did you decide this was the right approach?”

Why did you do that?” can become “What were the factors that influenced your decision?”

Or you can try our 9 What’s Coaching Method to help a team member think more critically and solve more problems on their own.

These questions foster a spirit of collaboration. They’re designed to help your team reflect on their thinking, giving them the space to explain their reasoning without feeling attacked. This shift from interrogation to exploration builds trust and encourages problem-solving.

Related Articles:

No More Vague Reports: How to Get Your Team to Give You More Useful Information.

Attention to Detail: How to Help Your Team Have Less “Oops” Moments

Psychological Safety: Why People Don’t Speak Up at Work

Other ways to build stronger, teams who ask better questions of one another

Of course, your team will be stronger if everyone knows how to turn the intimidating questions into ones that come from a place of genuine curiosity. You can find a list of curiosity habits to make your team stronger.

We’d love to help you and your team accelerate performance, reduce stress, and work better together. Learn about our SynergyStack™ Team Development System and SynergySprint Team Retreats.

The post Intimidating Questions: How Bad Questions Shut People Down appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

As we shared in 6 habits of highly effective hybrid and virtual teams, the best hybrid and virtual teams have this in common— they work at it. They don’t take their virtual team communication for granted. It’s an ongoing, proactive conversation about expectations, what’s working well, and what’s not.

And, they talk through any frustrations before they’ve had too much time to simmer. 

Because even well-intentioned, high-urgency, human-centered teammates can have widely varied opinions about what successful team communication looks like.

Perhaps you can identify with a disconnect like this:

• “If they knew this was important, why didn’t they send me an email with IMMEDIATE ACTION REQUIRED in the header?”
• “Why would they let this sit in an email, and not just Slack message me? I always respond immediately on Slack.”
• “I turn off my Slack notifications when I’m doing deep work. They should know that if something is really important, they should send me a text.”
• “Ugh. This was important. Why didn’t they just pick up the phone? How hard is that?”
• “This is ridiculous. This was an in-office day. And, I’m IN THE OFFICE. If this was that important, why wouldn’t they just come by my cube?”
• “I get that this is important, but I’m working from halfway around the world. I was asleep when the email came and by the time I could contribute my input, the decision had already been made.”

Everyone AGREES this was a highly urgent conversation. And yet, there’s a whole lot of frustration going on about why THEY communicated it THAT WAY.

Establishing Norms and Expectations Around Virtual Team Communication

The idea is to use this tool to support a conversation about how you agree to communicate during different circumstances. And then, translate that into agreed team communication norms.

Let’s Grow Leaders Communication Matrix

click the virtual team communication matrix image to download a PDF of the matrix to use with your team

HOW to use the tool

An easy way to start the conversation is to provide the tool to each member of your team and give them time to reflect on what kinds of communication work best for various kinds of topics, discussions, or information, with a focus on whether you’re in a synchronous or asynchronous environment.

For example, your team may decide that if we’re working at the same time in the same location and there’s an important decision to be made quickly, we’re going to pull up for a quick team huddle.

You may agree, in that scenario, you’re not going to spend a lot of time on email threads or Slack channels. You’re going to get together, make the decision, and follow up with an email summary.

Or, you may agree that even if you are all in the office, you’re not going to interrupt one another with less urgent matters. Those will be handled via your Slack channel.

This conversation is particularly critical for virtual team communication across time zones.

If your team is in different locations at different times, and you have an important decision to make, you may agree that all the information will be communicated in a Slack thread so that everyone can weigh in and share their views during a 24 hour period, before making the final decision (for more about “who owns the decision” see our Manager’s Guide to Better Decision Making.)

This tool is just the start to get the conversation going about communication preferences, what’s working, and opportunities for streamlining communication and making it more accessible. From there, you can create norms for your hybrid and virtual team communication as you continue your growth as a high-performing hybrid or virtual team.

See Also: 5 Communication Mistakes Screwing Up Teamwork

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When it comes to having better influence at work, words matter.

Of course, WHAT you say will instantly influence your credibility and impact.

But, what’s REALLY tragic is to see well-intentioned leaders with great ideas getting talked over or ignored, because of HOW they contribute.

Subtle word choice makes all the difference.

Note: If you prefer a video version of these communication mistakes, article click here for a special edition of Asking for a Friend from Geneva Switzerland.

Jane’s story

We once coached “Jane” a woman executive (she, her, hers), the only member of an all-male, executive team (he, him, his).

“Jane” was frustrated that her voice wasn’t being heard.

Jane’s boss, the CEO. was also frustrated that Jane, “lacked confidence.”

Was there some bias going on? You bet.

No question, we had to address that.

But you know what else was happening nearly every time she spoke up? Weak words sabotaged her influence.

By changing the words surrounding her ideas, her ideas suddenly gained traction, and she had a seat at the table.

3 Communication Mistakes That Sabotage Your Leadership Influence at Work

Let’s talk about three communication mistakes that sabotage your influence at work and what to say instead.

1. Pre-Apologies

There’s no question that self-deprecating humor has a place at work. In fact, we often notice some of the most successful leaders in our leadership programs using self-deprecating humor brilliantly.

Poking a bit of fun at yourself and allowing others to have a good laugh at your expense can do wonders to break the ice, particularly if you’re the one with more position power.

And, of course, REAL apologies are vital in building trust, influence, and connection. If you screw up, admit it.

But, pre-apologies where you apologize for an idea you’re about to present, scream, “Don’t listen to me, wait for the next guy. I’m sure his idea will be better.”

It’s so sad to watch a manager with a great idea start with a pre-apology and then wonder why their voice isn’t heard.

Examples of Pre-Apologies

“I’m usually wrong about such things, but …”

“This is probably a bad idea …”

“In my feeble little mind …”

“In terrible at math, but …”

Note: If you are really terrible at math, double-check or get some help. But our experience is most people who start with “I’m terrible at math” have a gut instinct that tells us something is wonky on a spreadsheet or in a presentation even faster than the best math geek.

What to say instead:

“I have an idea …”

“In my experience …”

“Great thoughts, have you also considered?”

“Can we just double-check the numbers? Can you please walk us through how you got to that?”

2. Selling Past the Close

Back in my early HR days at Verizon, I (Karin) was really excited about a new mentoring program we had developed, but I had to convince the operations leadership that the time was right. I had carefully crafted my argument and all the reasons why we needed this now.

Three minutes in, the senior vice president of sales I was meeting with said “yes.”

But, I hadn’t yet shared all my talk points or data. So, I kept talking sharing my carefully crafted pitch. He quickly interrupted and shared, “Karin, you’re selling past the close.”

If you want better influence, know when to stop talking.

What to say instead:

“Great. Glad you agree. Game on. Here’s what I recommend we do next.”

3. Hedging

When I think of “hedging words,” I think of the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. “Well we could go this way, but we could also go that way.”

You present a perfectly good idea, and before people can respond you quickly jump in with all the alternatives as you waffle a bit about your recommendations.

What to say instead:

It’s perfectly reasonable to concisely show your work, and explain the alternatives you considered. If you want more influence you should also have a point of view.

“I carefully considered these three alternatives. And, this is why I recommend we go this way.”

Start Here to Be a More Influential Communicator at Work

It’s easy to fall into the trap of using these derailing words, and not even notice it. The easiest way to know is to ask for feedback from someone you trust. “I’m working on improving my communication to have more influence at work. If you see me starting my sentences with a pre-apology, would you let me know?”

Or you can even record one of your virtual meetings, play it back and watch for patterns.

Your turn:

What communication mistakes have you seen sabotage influence at work?

See Also: 9 Phrases that Immediately Expose Weak Leaders For Who They Are

How to Be a More Courageous Manager

Psychological Safety or More Courage? What Your Team Needs Now

Leadership Skills: 6 Competencies You Can’t Lead Without

Executive Presence in a Virtual World: What Matters Now

The post Want Better Influence at Work? Avoid These Communication Mistakes appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

Are your one-on-one meetings getting stale? Are you looking for more ways to support and challenge your team? Use our very popular one-on-one meeting template to plan for a better one-on-one.

In our leadership training programs, we encourage managers to consider their one-on-one meetings as a “monthly mix,” varying the focus each week. This customized strategy gives each employee exactly what they need at the moment, and encourages managers to provide a broader range of support.

For example, one week you might want to focus on “clarity,” helping your employee to understand what matters most and to prioritize their work. Then, another week you might choose to focus on capacity, ensuring they have the resources and training they need.

Of course, great one-on-one meetings are more of an art than a science.

The intention of this one-on-one meeting template is to give you prompts to consider in your planning—to give your employees a wider range of guidance and scaffolding.

If you are a manager whose natural tendency is to use one-on-one meetings to create clarity, you might want to mix in a “connection” or “capacity” conversation from time to time.

If you tend to host very casual one-on-one meetings to connect at a human level, you might want to try mixing in some of these other elements as well.

Of course, it’s most important to stay open at the moment and meet them where they are when using this one-on-one meeting template. You might start with a “clarity” intention and find that you need to shift gears and focus on connection.

How to Use This One-on-One Meeting Template

Start with an Intention for the One-On-One Meeting

What do you want them to think, feel, or do as a result of this one-on-one meeting? Start here in the one-on-one meeting template.

Note: Your employee may come in with another agenda—so important to stay open as well.

Create Connection

How can you start with a genuine personal connection?

Identify Your Focus for this One-On-One Meeting

What is the most important focus area(s) of this one-on-one meeting from your perspective?

4 Focus Areas to Consider For Your Next One-on-One

Clarity: Reinforce strategic and practical priorities

Note: Having your team member complete the MIT check-in questions works well for this kind of one-on-one.

• What’s the most important thing you accomplished last week in terms of results and relationships?
• What’s the most important thing you are focused on this week, in terms of results and relationships?
• What support do you need from me?

Caring:  Connect at a human level

Note: This one’s hard to script, but the key here is asking open-ended questions and then really listen.

• What’s most challenging for you right now?
• How are you feeling?
• What are you most excited about?
• How’s _______ (check in on a person they care about.)

Communication: Reinforce key messages and check for understanding.

Note: One-on-one meetings are great to use as part of your 5×5 communication strategy.

• What was your biggest takeaway from our staff meeting the other day?
• What do you see as the biggest strategic priority for our team this month?
• I’m curious how have you communicated _______ (insert key message here) to your team? How did they feel about it? What questions did they have?

Capacity: Identify support needed.

Note: This is an opportunity to ensure they have the tools, training, and support needed to be successful.

• What roadblocks can I help you remove?
• What additional training do you need?
• Where are you stuck?
• How can I best help you?

Curiosity: Solicit input and ideas.

Note: One-on-one meetings are a great time to ask people for their I.D.E.A.s, tap into best practices, ask courageous questions, and explore micro-innovations. 

Use this part of the one-on-one meeting template to draw out ideas.

What’s one thing we could do differently to improve our productivity?

With regard to _______

U- What are we Underestimating?

G- What’s got to Go?

L- Where are we Losing?

Y- Where are we missing the Yes?

At our next one-on-one meeting, I’d like to get your best I.D.E.A. about how we can _____. (Interesting, Doable, Engaging, Actions)

___ _______________________________ (add your other meeting focus notes here)

Download the FREE One-on-One Meeting Template Here

One-on-One Meeting Planner

More Resources to Help You Be a Better Manager

How to Provide More Meaningful Performance Feedback

Psychological Safety: Why People Don’t Speak Up at Work

Two Leadership Skills Your Middle Managers Need Most

Download a FREE chapter of Winning Well: A Manager’s Guide to Getting Results– Without Losing Your Soul.

Your turn. We would love to hear how you are using the one-on-one meeting template. Drop us a note and let us know how it works for you!

The post One-on-one Meeting Template: FREE Tool for Better Conversations appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

You want to coach employees to improve performance, but there’s just so little time. Make every coaching conversation count, by focusing on what each team member needs most.

Effective Coaching Techniques

Coaching employees to high performance can take many forms. One person may need corrective performance coaching while another needs encouragement. One person needs training while another is ready to teach others.

Our Let’s Grow Leaders confidence/competence model is a great way to quickly identify what your employees need most from you.

Employee Coaching Template: The Confidence-Competence Model

We use our Let’s Grow Leaders Confidence-Competence model as a cornerstone to the “Be a Builder” module of our six-session Virtual Leadership Development Program. 

Our clients tell us it’s exactly these types of super practical leadership tools that bring the LASTING VALUE to their trainings. At Let’s Grow Leaders we are all about easy to implement, 100% relevant leadership tools.

click on image to download the confidence competence model

WHEN to use it:

You can use the Let’s Grow Leaders Confidence-Competence Model every few months to keep your development efforts on track. It can serve as an important part of your overall development strategy both at an individual and team level.

Or you can use the Let’s Grow Leaders Confidence-Competence model to ground your approach in real-time as you prepare to coach employees to higher performance in a specific situation.

Coaching Employees Examples

John is headed into a sales call with a new client. You know he’s nailed similar situations before but he’s recovering from a bad “last time” scenario and his confidence is shot.

You quickly assess that he’s in the high-competence / low confidence quadrant on the model, so instead of telling him what to do (training) or pointing out areas of vulnerability (coaching), you remind him of one or two of his past success stories in similar scenes.

Up next is Jennifer, who has been knocking her sales out of the park for years, but you get a sense that she’s phoning it in these days. You know she’s confident and competent, but it’s time for a challenge.

You use your coaching conversation with her to focus on building deeper, more strategic relationships in one of her key accounts.

Coaching Employees with a Deeper Plan

Or, you can use the Let’s Grow Leader’s Confidence-Competence model to map each member of your team and identify and calibrate priorities and development needs.

We will often work with a group of managers to map and calibrate each of their employees so they can work together to support one another in developing their team members.

For example, we recently worked with an energy company to map each of their customer service agents on the Let’s Grow Leaders competence-confidence model.

Then we facilitated a conversation about what the agents in each of these quadrants needed most. For example, they asked some of their “challenge me” seasoned agents to sit side-by-side with some of the “teach me” agents to support their training efforts.

They had a long list of “encourage me” agents who were newer to their roles and just needed affirmation and recognition that what they were doing was right. So they made a plan to notice and recognize a specific set of behaviors.

They worked together for six months on this collaborative development plan and, of course, worked to ensure every agent had a specific development plan.

Then we came back together six months later and did the mapping exercise again. It was remarkable to see the improvement in most. There were also a few agents that were still in the “teach me” bucket after much additional training and effort. Some of those folks, they admitted, had been having these same challenges for years.

That led to our “Can they really get there from here?” conversation. And for a few, the answer was no. And, HR agreed to work with each of their supervisors on their final performance improvement discussions.

Coaching Employees in the Workplace

As you look at people’s performance, keep in mind their levels of confidence and competence. Your approach will depend on how much competence they display and how much confidence they have in themselves and their skills.

The next time you’re dealing with a performance management problem, try starting with the lens of confidence and competence.

High-Competence/Low-Confidence: Encourage Me

When an employee has low confidence but shows that they know what they’re doing (high competence), encourage them. The good news is you’ve got a great foundation of skills to work with. Sadly, sometimes low confidence can come across as disengagement so it’s important to understand what’s going on so that you can help.  One of our favorite ways to encourage employees is to get them to solve problems on their own, by asking a series of 9 strategic questions. 

A few articles that can help:

How to Build your Team’s Confidence: Leadership Without Losing Your Soul podcast

The Best Way to Help Employees Have More Confidence

High-Competence/High-Confidence: Challenge Me

When an employee is both confident and competent in what they’re doing, you can challenge them with higher levels of achievement, new tasks, or new opportunities. This could be an employee in the perfect sweet spot of positive energy and flow, or maybe they’re becoming a bit bored and longing for more.

Ideally, they’re your A-players, although the high confidence/competence combination can sometimes manifest itself in feelings of superiority, particularly if the rest of the team is weak.

A few articles that can help:

7 Things Your High Performing Employees Want to Hear you Say

How to Manage An Arrogant Slightly Obnoxious High Performer

Low-Competence/High Confidence: Coach Me

For an employee who is confident, but lacks performance, coaching can help them tap into and develop the skills they need to succeed. They may need help to see that in certain areas, they’re not as good as they think they are.

This employee needs help to see his strengths and developmental opportunities more clearly. Offering feedback through assessments, specific examples, and coaching will help bring his skills in line with their self-perceptions.

Try this approach to help employees learn to solve problems on their own.

A few articles that can help:

Managing the Art of Tough Conversations TD Magazine

How to Give More Meaningful Performance Feedback

How To Make Your Leadership Expectations Remarkably Clear

Low-Competence/Low Confidence: Teach Me

Employees with both low confidence and low competence most likely need you to teach them, give them training, and show them how to do what they need to do. Train and teach the skills she needs for success in the role. There may also be a skills mismatch; have a deeper development conversation to determine if there is a better fit for her within your organization.

A few articles that can help:

How to Build a Better live-online Leadership Development Program

Confidence Bursts: Interval Training to Drive Results

How Often Should You Coach Your Employees?

Ideally, you meet with your team members at least every other week. The Confidence-Competence model gives you the ability to have frequent small engagements with team members – the exact conversation they need at that moment.

Looking for more ways to coach employees to high-performance? We can help.

This is no cookie-cutter, stale-off-the-shelf program. Every Virtual Leadership Training we provide is customized…designed specifically to meet your team where they are.

Or download our brochure or contact us at info@letsgrowleaders.com 443-750-1249.

 

 

The post How to Coach Employees to High Performance When Time is Limited appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

It’s not a shocker that this year, the most helpful articles were about creating a deeper connection with your team, leading well during times of uncertainty and disruption, and of course, practical tools for leading remote teams.

So here you go (click on the header link to access the article). These are our best leadership articles of 2020 based on your reading and sharing.

What do you think were our best leadership articles of 2020… what resonated most for you?

And of course, if you have a topic you like us to tackle in 2021 please let us know in the comments or drop us a note at info@letsgrowleaders.com

The Best Leadership Articles of 2020
(According to You)

1. How to Start the Decade in Deeper Conversation

We wrote this most popular leadership article in January of 2020 BEFORE we had any idea what was on the horizon. And yet with the quick pivot to remote work, it turns out this easy team-builder worked wonders for creating trust and connection in remote teams.

We’ve had tremendous feedback from participants of our live-online leadership training programs who’ve used this tool as part of their action learning this year.

2. What Employees are Yearning For in Remote One-on-Ones

When the Pandemic first hit one of our biggest concerns was how many managers we saw canceling their one-on-ones. This was our passionate response. We captured the biggest needs we were hearing from managers around the world.

Also fun, this article was recognized in the CTO awards for best leadership articles of the year. If you’re looking to get better at one-on-ones in the new year, this posts for you.

3. How to Lead When Your Employees Don’t Have to Follow

Also a pre-pandemic hit, David shares one of our core philosophies: “everyone’s a volunteer.”

4. Practical Help For Exhausted Leaders Who Need to Get More Done

Okay, this was also interesting. We wrote this in February almost as if we knew what was coming next. Who knew that we had no idea of the exhaustion that lay ahead. In this practical article, we share some of our foundational tools and approaches to get results and improve relationships without driving yourself (or your team) into the ground.

5. How to Lead in the Midst of Urgent Rapid Change and Strain

In this early pandemic article, we share a great story from our very last on-site client visit of the year, along with practical tips for leading through a crisis.

6. Three Ways to Create a Virtual Watercooler for Your Remote Team

So much of the research about leading remote teams points to what employees miss most are the informal opportunities for interaction and sharing best practices. This article gives you practical ways to recreate that for your team.

7. How to Capture What You’re Learning From This Crisis Right Now

We wrote this right at the beginning of the Pandemic when everything was in total lockdown, Clorox and toilet paper were in short supply, we were sanitizing groceries before they came in the house, and our readers told us they were quarantining their copies of our books in their garage for 24 hours before they could read it.

And so we captured this “BED Talk”

8. How to Disrupt the Disruption and Help Your Team Move Forward

A lot of the training work we’ve been doing with our clients over this past year has included practical tools and techniques to”disrupting the disruption” to build a brighter bolder future. Here are a few practical approaches that can help as you continue to navigate this crisis.

9. How to Co-Create a Better Future

This article pairs well with our #8 winner, with more practical approaches to help your team do the best they can with what they have from where they are.

10. Four Words to Help You Build a Powerful Team

“How can I help …?” can go a long way in building a team. In this article, we share important ways to uncover the support your team most needs.

Most Popular Leadership Article of All Time on Let’s Grow Leaders

7 Ways to Help Your Team Deal with Ambiguity – Let’s Grow Leaders

This article continues to top our “best leadership articles” list every single year. And, Winning Well: Leading Through Uncertainty and Change continues to be one of our most requested keynote programs. You can’t always choose what you show up to, but you can always choose how you show up.

The Best Leadership Articles of 2020 (as seen in other media)

Leadership without Losing Your Soul Podcast (With David Dye)

David’s podcast audience has been growing quickly with over 80 episodes. Here are the top 3 for 2020.

How to Avoid Micromanaging Remote Employees

Burnout to Breakthrough – Interview with Eileen McDargh

Advanced Guide to Leading Online Meetings that Don’t Suck

Asking For a Friend Vlog (With Karin Hurt)

In the 4th Quarter 2020, Karin’s Asking For a Friend Vlog went live on Friday’s at 11:30 EST with a sprinkling of her old school pithy moments of leadership advice.

And the most popular Asking For a Friend Live was about Connection and Celebration in remote teams with Scott Friedman and Debra Fine. (you must be logged into LinkedIn to view)

We are so grateful to all of you who read and share our articles. We’re delighted to have you part of our growing Let’s Grow Leaders Community.

See More Best of Let’s Grow Leaders here.

The post The Best Leadership Articles of 2020 (and more … based on your votes) appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

If you’re neck-deep in planning your virtual kick-off meeting like so many of our clients, great! Your team needs this moment more than ever. In this extraordinary year, a virtual kick-off meeting is a great way to close this chapter and give your team a moment to reflect, connect, and feel the anticipation and hope of what’s to come.

And yet, sadly we’re hearing other folks say, “There’s no way we can do a virtual kick-off meeting. Just like everything else, we’re putting it on the list of ‘Covid- canceled.'”

Before you wring your hands and wait until next year, consider this.

One of our clients just reported that this year’s virtual kick-off meeting actually received better ratings from his global team than last year’s event (last year’s was held in-person, flying people in from all over the world for days of interaction, strategy, and fun).

He had gone out of his way to be real and vulnerable, established a compelling and realistic vision of the future, created tactile experiences, and leveraged the heck out of break-out rooms for a dynamic conversation that tapped into the best I.D.E.A.s from every team member. He even found ways to create a virtual water cooler experience.

Do people wish they could have gathered in person? Of course. Will they gather again when they can? Yes, and it will be that much sweeter. And, my guess is they’ll be telling stories for years to come about the ingenuity and effort of this year’s virtual experience.

7 Ideas to Make Your Virtual Kick-off Meeting Great

1. Be authentic
2. Share a compelling vision and clear direction
3. Make it easy to share ideas
4. Celebrate and recognize the “how” as well as the “what”
5. Leverage the wisdom in the room
6. Make it tactile
7. Bring in speakers who know the art of online interaction

Of course, no one wants to add one more boring virtual meeting to the mix.

But with a little effort and creativity, you can plan a truly memorable event.

Consider these seven ways to enhance your virtual kick-off.

1. Be authentic

Telling authentic stories with a bit of vulnerability is the secret sauce to building trust and connection at these large events. It’s important to close the distance between the executive speakers and the team by showing up real. And it matters even more in a virtual kickoff meeting.

The good news is, it’s not that hard. If your kid comes through with a PopTart, bring them on your lap for a minute. If the parakeet lands on your head, that will make for a good laugh. Let them see the human in you, and give your team opportunities to be human too.

Share what you’re grieving and acknowledge the hardships and losses the team has endured.

Your team will engage with your inspiration and fun, once they know that you get it and that it’s been hard for you too.

2. Share a compelling vision and clear direction.

The antidote to uncertainty is clarity. Provide a directional path forward even if you have some contingencies in the mix.

Be clear about what matters most and why. Ensure your team understands what your vision means for their role in very real and compelling terms. And, check for understanding to ensure that everyone leaves your event knowing what to do next and why it matters.

3. Make it easy to share ideas.

The biggest challenge with remote teams is the lack of a virtual water cooler. If your team is like most we work with, they’re longing for creative, spontaneous collaboration and to share what they’ve learned during this fast pivot.

Our FREE I.D.E.A. Incubator Guide can help you identify where you most need some great ideas and then help your team brainstorm, vet their ideas, and articulate them in a clear and compelling way.

4. Celebrate and recognize the “how” as much as the “what.”

As you think about who to recognize in your virtual kick-off meeting, if there was ever a year to think beyond the numbers it’s now. Who truly lived your values? Who stepped up to support struggling team members? How about the unsung heroes behind the scenes working long-hours to support your fast pivot?

During times of stress and change, it’s hard to over-celebrate. Take time to make a ruckus and let people know how much you appreciate them and their hard work.

5. Leverage the wisdom in the room.

Your team has extraordinary examples of doing the best they can with what they have from where they are. It’s likely that many of your team members have become “experts” in areas they never even dreamed about: balancing work with homeschooling; running effective remote team meetings; creative remote team communication …

What if you pulled together “expert” panels from across your teams in virtual breakout rooms and your virtual kick-off attendees pick the topics they are most interested in attending?

6. Make it tactile.

Yes, it’s a pain in the neck and not cheap to send a virtual kick-off care package to your team, but if you can pull it off, the effort goes a long way. One of our clients sent a box with all the swag they would have given in person—tee- shirts, a journal, and Legos to build metaphors of what it means to have a Courageous Culture.

Everyone wore their tee-shirt and laughed as they talked about courage, values, and practical ways to encourage micro-innovation and speaking up as they built metaphors out of Legos in breakout rooms.

7. Bring in speakers who know the art of live-online interaction.

Virtual kick-offs require extra effort to keep people engaged. Where some motivational keynote speakers might light-up the stage in a big ballroom, keeping people on the edge of their seat, it’s more challenging to hold people’s attention over a Zoom screen.

When bringing in an outside expert, be sure they know how to leverage interaction to draw your team into the story and keep them focused.

Your Turn:

What best practices have you seen in virtual kick-off meetings and large team events?  What’s worked well for you? We’d love to hear your stories.

And of course, if you are planning a virtual event, we’d love to talk with you about your goals and share some ideas. Just drop me a note at karin.hurt@letsgrowleaders.com

More Articles to Help You Plan Your Virtual Kick-Off Meeting

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6 Mistakes to Avoid in Your Townhall Meeting

How to Start the Decade in Deeper Conversations

(From Zoom) Planning a Successful Virtual Sales Kickoff Event

The post Virtual Kick-off Meeting: Why You Should Have One and How to Make it Great appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

If you’re dreading your performance review, we invite you to be the leader you want your boss to be and take a bit of initiative.

“But that’s not my job,” you might say. Perhaps—we could debate that all day—but here are a few questions to consider:

• Do you want the best performance review possible?
• Are you interested in showing you’re buttoned up and on top of your game?
• Would it be useful to reflect on your own performance and make a proactive plan to do even better?

5 Ways to Help Your Boss Prepare Your Performance Review

No, you should not be asked to write your own performance review for your boss to sign.

But providing input to your review makes your manager’s life a heck of a lot easier— and there’s no one who has a better record of what it took to pull off this extraordinary year.

Here are a few ways to help your manager give you a more thorough review.

1. Crunch numbers, numbers, numbers.

Don’t just say what you did, calculate the business impact. If possible, calculate the ROI on your projects (of course this is a lot easier if you do it along the way versus pulling an all-nighter). If ROI is too much of a stretch, calculate percent improvement in key metrics.

You can even report the “soft stuff” in terms of numbers.

For example, rather than say you “invested in developing your team,” point out that three of your team members were promoted to other departments.

Don’t say you “conducted three team-builders.” Instead, share the impact on absenteeism, attrition, or your employee engagement results.

Note: if you’re finding this impossible this year, this is a great time to consider what metrics you want to move next year and capture the baseline data.

2. Gather additional perspectives.

The end of the year is a great time for a Do It Yourself 360.

Knowing where you stand with others will lead to a richer discussion with your manager. As Julie Winkle Guilioni recommends, come to your meeting with a “plateful of feedback.”

3. Come prepared to discuss your opportunities for improvement.

Of course, a better performance appraisal doesn’t mean you only celebrate the good stuff.

Imagine how impressed your manager will be if you approach your performance appraisal full of self-awareness.

“Here are three areas I’d like to work on next year and how I think you could help.”

This developmental discussion planner is a great tool to help you think through your strengths and challenges for your current and desired future roles.

Approaching your review with such confident humility immediately puts your boss in helping mode. The review will likely feel better and go more smoothly from both sides of the desk.

4. Listen deeply and carefully.

The best performance appraisal conversations are just that—conversations. Come eager to listen and learn from your manager’s perspective. Ask sincere questions to dig a level deeper to learn all you can.

5. Summarize.

Your performance appraisal is a great time to check for understanding as you recap what you’ve heard, decide next steps AND schedule the finish by setting up a time to follow-up on progress.

Often it’s the best performers who are too busy to “toot their own horn” and document their accomplishments well. It’s not bragging, it’s useful. Make life easier on your boss this performance appraisal season, and invest the time to prepare properly. Ultimately, your career and your future are your responsibility, so why not give yourself the best chance for a helpful review?

See Also:

Avoid These Infuriating Phrases When Giving End-of-Year Feedback

How to Prepare for Your Performance Appraisal

The post How to Help Your Boss Give You a Better Performance Review appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

According to Glassdoor’s 2020 Politics at Work Research, most U.S. employees believe political discussions are “unacceptable” at work.

And yet, one in two employees have done so.

In fact, twenty-eight percent report:

a co-worker has tried to persuade them to change their political party preference in the past year.

These contentious political conversations come at a cost. Twenty-one percent of the employees surveyed in the Glassdoor study reported they would not want to work with a co-worker who plans to vote for a presidential candidate they don’t like in the next election.

Politics and Social Media: The Conversation Before the Conversation

But, it’s tricky.

Even if you (or your co-workers) don’t breathe a word about politics at the virtual water cooler, it doesn’t take much to know exactly where your co-workers stand.

We’ve had so many HR folks tell us of the complaints they’re in the middle of because:

the other guy started it.

Which, upon further investigation, all came down to politics being discussed on a social media post.

Co-workers can feel personally attacked by a political point of view, even if it wasn’t meant to be about them.

As one senior leader shared:

Our biggest challenge is that people think if you support _______, you are a bad person. Who wants to work with a bad person?

Tips For Preventing Political Conversations From Getting Out of Hand

1. Reflect to connect with your coworkers.

If your values and views are so far apart that conversations feel like powder kegs, you’re not likely going to change anyone’s mind— no matter how persuasive your argument might be at the virtual happy hour.

Instead, work to focus on empathetic conversations, with a simple approach— reflect the emotion you’re hearing and use that to make a human connection.

For example:

I can tell you’re really frustrated by this issue.

You seem really excited about that event you attended.

I hear you’re hopeful about _____.

With a simple reflection phrase, your co-worker will feel seen and heard by you, which makes it easier to calmly extricate yourself from a further conversation on the topic. And get back to collaborating on your common goals.

2. Connect one-on-one.

It’s hard to hate people up close. Move in. -Brené Brown

Conversations seem to go sideways the fastest in crowds, or in asynchronous communication.  Respectful one-on-one conversation, where you show up and really listen, can go a long way in building deeper human connection and relationships.

People do long for connection and support during this challenging time. Deeper, respectful dialogue, done well, will go a long way in building trust and repairing the damage from casual assumptions.

3. Leverage the company policies and rules.

Most companies are re-communicating their policies and guidelines about appropriate conversations at work. (If you’re in HR and need help, here’s a useful SHRM article on the topic.)

Without creating a ruckus, you can simply say, “This conversation seems to be headed to a place that is outside of our company guidelines. I’m going to choose to stay out of it and focus on (insert your big business challenge).”

4. Beware of outside conversations creeping in.

It’s certainly within your rights to engage in contentious conversations with a co-worker at the bar after work or in an after-hours social media exchange, but it could come at a cost.

Once the drama ensues, it’s hard to let it go on your Monday morning Zoom call.

A conversation with a co-worker is still a conversation with a co-worker, even if you aren’t at work.

It’s a big world with more than enough opportunities to vet, vent, and engage. And often, it’s better to do it somewhere else.

Your Turn

What would you add? What’s your best advice for preventing politics from destroying work relationships?

See Also:

How to Help Your Team Prepare for the Turbulent Aftermath of the Election

The post How to Prevent Politics From Destroying Work Relationships appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

Regardless of the election’s outcome, it’s smart to be ready for a firestorm of distracted, energized, frustrated, hopeful, distraught, elated, concerned, confused, uncertain, joyful, worried hearts and minds…

All exhaling those emotions at the same time. Onto one another.

“Leave your joys or troubles at the door,” just will not work.

4 Ways to Help Your Managers Prepare for the Aftermath of the Election

We’ve been talking to leaders about how they’re helping their teams prepare NOW. There are no easy answers, but here’s a start. What would you add?

1. Communicate expectations of respect and inclusion now.

Many leaders we’ve talked with have already launched their communication plan, reminding their teams of the need for deep respect now and after the election.

One client shared, “This is a diversity and inclusion issue, and we need to treat our communication with that level of sensitivity. We can’t assume we know where people are coming from or what they might be thinking.”

Chery Gegelman, who held a series of “conversation safaris” around the world after the last presidential election shared:

I would meet before election day and remind everyone that great teams are made up of people with different behavioral styles, life experiences, education levels, skills, and perspectives. And emphasize that each individual is valued, respected and cared for. And then discuss the best ways that team members can be understanding and supportive of each other after the results are in. Then after the election follow through on providing the support needed.

2. Support your managers with listening tools and skills.

One executive shared how he’s preparing his managers:

It can be really hard to hear some of the views coming from your team. Particularly if the views feel extreme or misguided from your perspective. Resist the urge to educate, argue or share your views. Instead, your job is to create a safe place for people to process if necessary without chiming in with your own views.

During times like this, one of the best approaches is to reflect to connect. It helps to remember that every person’s point of view is valid to them. Encourage your managers to reflect back and communicate what they are hearing.

For example: “It sounds like you are really frustrated” or “It seems like you’re really happy about this.”

These neutral statements don’t mean you agree. They do help the other person feel seen so you can move forward.

3. Create space.

One tech executive we spoke with said, “I’ve already instructed my team to cancel all meetings for that week. People will need time to process and we need to create that space.”

We’ve been thinking the same thing around here—and recently encouraged an executive group we’re working with to push back a program to later in the month.

Even if canceling all meetings feels extreme, encouraging more white space on the calendar that week should help your managers have time to connect with their teams. And, if possible, avoid making emotionally laden decisions while everyone’s already coming from a place of extreme joy or frustration.

Creating some extra space for one-on-one meetings can also be helpful to give people a minute to process in a safe place.

4. Consider the ripple effect.

And don’t underestimate the ripple effect for your global teams. In a recent LinkedIn conversation Karin started on the subject, Dr. Phil Allcock, who runs a learning company in the UK shared, “And it may not just be teams in the US who are affected by the outcome.”

The aftermath of the election is coming on top of a world already on edge. It’s a lot. For everyone. For many, even good news will come with the anxiety of “What now?”

Your turn

There are no easy answers. We would love to hear from you. What are you doing to help your managers prepare for the aftermath of the election?

The post How to Help Your Team Prepare for the Turbulent Aftermath of the Election appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.