You’re right. You deserve high-quality, carefully considered feedback in your performance review. Your manager should take this seriously and do it right.

But often they don’t. It’s statistically likely that you (or a friend) will be blindsided by the performance feedback you receive. Let’s get ahead of it this year with some Powerful Phrases to ask for, and engage In a more meaningful conversation.

Powerful Phrases to Deal with Lazy, Vague, Frustrating Feedback

A few years ago, I wrote “Avoid These Infuriating Phrases in End-of-Year Feedback” to encourage managers to stop making stupid comments when giving a performance review.

This heartfelt post came from years of listening to high-performing employees vent their frustrations about frustrating phrases their managers said. If you’re a manager who struggles with performance reviews, please start there.

How to Respond to the Most Infuriating Kind of Performance Review

For the rest of you (or your friends), let’s prepare for that frustrating feedback this year and prepare you with some Powerful Phrases for when the conversation goes sideways.

1. “I don’t have much end-of-year feedback for you. You know you’re doing great.”

I hate this one as much as you do. If you’re hearing this, you probably are doing great, but it doesn’t give you much to build on or improve.

Some options to start your empowered response:

• “Wow, thanks so much! I appreciate your support. This year, I feel particularly proud about __________ (insert that accomplishment you expected them to bring up). I’m curious about your perspective on that _______(project, strategy, accomplishment). Why did that work from your perspective? What made that work so well, and how might I bring more of that into my work?”
• “Thank you! You know, one area I’m really working to improve on is _________. What is one suggestion you have for how I can be more effective in that arena?”
• “Thank you! I’m curious about what specifically you appreciate about what I’m doing here. I’m very focused on ensuring next year is even better, and I’d love your help in knowing what I should continue doing and ideas to help me really differentiate my performance next year.”

2. “I rated you as meets expectations for your end-of-year feedback. Your performance really was an “exceeds” but I had to make the math work out.” Or, even worse, “I could only have one person in that category.”

Okay, you have a serious right to be ticked off here. I’ve been there, on both sides of this awkward conversation.

And it’s probably too late to change the math or the rating. I know this because as a Verizon executive I’ve fought this battle many times for the high-performers on my team, and the answer was “pick one.”

Your manager may be as (or even more) frustrated than you.

In my article on infuriating phrases, my advice to your manager is to stay focused on results and behaviors, rather than the rating. And, to be clear about the criteria that they used to calibrate performance and where you met and exceeded those criteria and opportunities to improve in the future. To stay away from comparisons to other employees, or blaming other people for the rating they received.

And now, some options to start your empowered response: 

• “Oh, wow. That must have put you in a difficult situation. And, I’ve got to tell you, that makes me feel really ___________(insert emotion here, but try not to scream or cry).”
• “I’ve worked incredibly hard this year and I really don’t want to be having a similar conversation this time next year. Can we outline what I need to do for next year to make ‘exceeds’ (or whatever your rating equivalent is) the obvious rating? I’d love to build a plan to ensure I have the success I’m looking for.”
• “I really appreciate your support. And I’ve got to tell you I’m pretty frustrated. This affects my compensation too (if that’s true). I’d really like to talk to HR to express my concerns about this.”

3. “I know we haven’t talked about this before, but _____”

This one’s tricky because your manager certainly shouldn’t blindside you this way in your performance review. There are a few angles you might choose to take. If they’ve put something in writing that’s coming out of the blue, you might request to have that removed, requesting a fair chance to address it before it turns up in the documentation.

And, here are some empowering phrases that might be useful.

• “I appreciate your feedback and your desire to help me improve. I’m wondering what we could do to set up a more regular cadence of feedback throughout the year, so there are no surprises next time.”
• “I’m a bit surprised by this feedback and would like to take some time to digest it. Let’s set up a follow-up in a week to talk a bit more.”
• “Since this is the first time I’ve heard this feedback, can you please give me some time to address this before you put it in the formal review? Here’s my approach to improving in this area.”

4.”I don’t really have any specific examples, but it’s become a real issue.”

If you hear this in your performance review, and you can’t think of any examples either, I’d recommend you push for some examples.

• “I’m deeply committed to improving my performance in this arena. And, it’s really hard to understand what needs to change without some concrete examples.”
• “I really would like to understand this more. I’m struggling to come up with examples too.”
• “Can you please tell me more? I’d really like to get a better understanding of your concern here.”

5. “I’ve gotten a lot of feedback from other people about your performance in this arena. Who? I’m not at liberty to say.

As with most of these awkward performance review phrases, I would start with a gut check. If your manager is raising an issue and it feels true to you, then your best bet is to own it and work on it.

However, if this third-party performance review feedback feels unfair, then I would press for more information.

• “Hmmm. That’s tricky. I don’t see it that way. It would be really helpful for me to talk directly with those concerned. Can you please ask them to come to me with their concerns so I have a chance to talk with them directly about it?”
• “Have you noticed this issue yourself? Does this seem like something that’s consistent with what you’ve observed?”
• “I’d like a chance to better understand this issue. Who do you suggest I talk with to learn more?”

6. “Just write up your accomplishments and I’ll sign it.”

It’s a great idea to submit your accomplishments. After all, you’re closer to the work you’ve done and the impact you’ve made.

Say yes, and then…

• “I’d be delighted to write up my accomplishments (see How to help your boss give you a better performance review for tips on how to do that well).”
• “I would also really appreciate your feedback and perspective on my performance this year. When would be a good time for us to talk through my performance review?”
• “Here you go (hand them your accomplishments). I’m also really interested in your feedback on how I can make next year my best year ever. I got this great development discussion planner from Let’s Grow Leaders. I’d love to schedule some time to go through that.”

While lazy, vague, and frustrating feedback can feel super irritating, it also gives you a chance to take responsibility for your career development. Ask for what you need and giveyour manager the opportunity to rise to the occasion. Sometimes their insights will surprise, and help you make that next step.

Related Articles

12 Powerful Phrases For Navigating Challenging Workplace Conflict

How to Help Your Team’s Performance Stand Out for Better Recognition

The post Performance Review: How to respond to frustrating or lazy performance feedback appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

You’ve seen it happen. The same dedicated people carry the load year after year while your most qualified potential leaders hide in the back, politely declining. Or you’ve got some enthusiastic volunteers who step up—but then burn out and walk away. Sound familiar? When attracting busy, talented people to lead, the secret is to start with connection, clarity, curiosity, and commitment. Whether you’re leading a volunteer group, a non-profit, or a community team, these four dimensions will help you attract and retain leaders who can keep your mission thriving.

How to Recruit Volunteer Leaders

1. Start with story
2. Set a rhythm of why
3. Communicate opportunities
4. Facilitate relationships
5. Create bite-size roles
6. Limit terms
7. Identify habits for success
8. Inventory talent and skills
9. Include young people and give them power
10. Empower possibility
11. Allow for failure and learning
12. Schedule the finish
13. Practice accountability
14. Celebrate success

Leadership is leadership—whether you work in a volunteer organization or a for-profit corporation. Same with teamwork and collaboration. And no matter where you lead, the first conversation is with yourself. If you have a poverty mentality (“I have to beg people to do this”), you can’t attract the talent you need.

Instead, you can use the four dimensions of collaboration to create a culture people want to join. With these four dimensions, you’ll attract, keep, and grow leaders in your volunteer organization.

Connection

Connection to a purpose and people is the heart of volunteer service. To attract leaders, connect people to the mission and each other.

1. Start with Story

What’s at the heart of your work? That core “why” should pulse through everything you do. Condense your organization’s work to one sentence that captures what it’s all about. That inspires people to say, “Sign me up.”

Once you have that straightforward “why” spelled out, find ways to tell the story. Think of the people you serve. Tell their story. Better yet, have them tell their story.

Through story, you connect potential volunteer leaders to your values and mission. You want their heart before their time or money.

2. Set a Rhythm of Why

One of the best volunteer leaders I (David) ever worked with started every single gathering with that one-sentence statement of purpose. “We are here to…” It didn’t matter if it was a Board meeting, a happy-hour, or a recognition celebration. He started with WHY. And every member of the organization internalized that why. It drove everything we did and attracted volunteers.

Consistently connect back your WHY to help attract potential leaders to what matters most.

3. Communicate Opportunities

Too often, committees ask, “Who should lead this?” and limit their answers to their established connections. They overlook many qualified people because they don’t know them. Communicate opportunities to cast a broader net and connect your members to the chance to serve and lead.

4. Facilitate Relationships

One of the most valuable benefits of volunteer leadership are the people you meet. You can help your volunteers realize this benefit by investing in relationships. Take time for “connection before content” to help your volunteers get to know one another, understand one another’s expertise, and individual stories.

With limited time, you don’t need to invest hours—even a few minutes at the beginning of meetings for a compassionate conversation starter or SynergyStack habit discussion will help.

Clarity

Clarity about roles, timeframes, and how to succeed is vital for successful volunteers. Invest in clarity to make leadership accessible, help potential leaders say “yes” and succeed in their work.

5. Create Bite-Size Roles

Warning: this will annoy the guy who did the whole job for the last 20 years. You’ll need to politely tell him to chill. He needs relief, and it’s a new day.

Consider breaking the bigger jobs down into something a strong leader with an already booked life could imagine herself doing. As they grow into a bigger role, they may take on more responsibility.

But make that first “yes” as manageable as possible.

6. Limit Terms

It’s easy to rely on the same people to do the same thing year after year. The shoes become too big to fill, and the unintended side effect is intimidation … not to mention stagnation. Plus, knowing there’s an exit strategy is attractive. Everyone saw how the last guy got stuck.

And, the person may want to continue their service. There will still be a place for them.

7. Identify Habits for Success

There are two questions every volunteer (heck every employee, leader…every team member) needs to be able to answer: 1) What does success in this role accomplish?  2) How do I succeed?

Help your volunteer leaders with a clear picture of what a successful outcome achieves for the organization and the specific, observable habits that will help them have that success.

Curiosity

Curiosity helps you tap into the vast set of hidden talents, abilities and experiences your people bring with them. Invest in curiosity to find new people, new approaches, and help people grow in their roles.

8. Inventory Talents and Skills

You need to know what people are eager to give. Some will be too humble to tell you. I (Karin) was directing a children’s musical at our church and was thinking I’d have to bother the usual suspects to paint the set. One of the newer members came to me with his portfolio of AMAZING art, as if he were applying for a job. I had to resist the urge to kiss this man I didn’t know. He spent countless hours creating amazing scenery.

Bottom line, we didn’t know and we never would have asked.

9. Include Young People & Give Them Power

Kids have enormous leadership potential. If you have young people in your organization, scaffold them gently and take some risks. Our teenagers would get so annoyed when adults try to micro-manage their leadership efforts. They’ve got it. Give kids room and watch the magic. Then you can gently coach and help them grow as they run into challenges.

See also: Developing Leadership Skills in Children: 11 Ways to Grow Your Kids

10. Empower Possibility

Some volunteer organizations have a habit of asking someone to “lead” and then tell them exactly how it should be done. That will turn off your most creative volunteer leaders. Be willing to accept radically novel approaches and new ideas. (See Clarity above—if you define what a successful outcome does for the organization, ask them how they might get there.)

11. Allow for Failure and Learning

No one grows without taking risks and stumbling along the way. But criticism and gossip will turn away your best leaders FOREVER. They’ve got enough of that crap in their day job. Encourage, develop, and make it okay to experiment and fail forward.

Commitment

Commitment and accountability tell your volunteers that their work matters. Invest in commitment and accountability to help your volunteers feel a real sense of accomplishment as they fulfill the purpose of their work.

12. Schedule the Finish

One of the most frustrating volunteer experiences is when you work hard to meet a deadline, only to find out that no one else took the work seriously. “Why bother” sets in—and soon you’ll lose those dedicated leaders.

Promote accountability by scheduling the finish and ensuring that everyone has straightforward tasks and a specific time for the team to review progress. Discuss competing priorities to ensure the timelines are achievable.

When you schedule the finish, you bake accountability into the team’s work from the start.

13. Practice Accountability

Many volunteer leaders struggle with accountability. They worry that accountability will drive away their precious volunteers. But it actually does the opposite. When you follow up to ensure everyone follows through, you’re telling your volunteer leaders that you value their work and their time.

Their work matters and they can trust on one another to get it done. Human-centered accountability builds trust and morale as your volunteer team sees the results of their work.

(If you need tools to help you have a human-centered accountability conversation, check out our INSPIRE Method.)

14. Celebrate Success

Your volunteer leaders have contributed their time, creativity, and energy. It’s time to celebrate! Acknowledge what they and their teams have done. Celebrate the progress and achievements. You get more of what you celebrate and encourage, but less of what you criticize and ignore. So if you want more leaders, celebrate them. You will lay the groundwork to attract the next generation of volunteer leaders.

Your Turn

The four dimensions of connection, clarity, curiosity, and commitment will help you attract and grow volunteer leaders—and help your volunteer teams collaborate.

And if you could use a tool to help you build effective teams built on these four dimensions, check out the SynergyStack System. It’s got everything you need to help you accelerate performance, build collaboration, and reduce stress.

Now it’s your turn. We would love to hear from you. What is one of your most effective ways to attract volunteer leaders?

Note: This article was originally written in 2014. With the need for effective volunteer leaders as great as ever, we’ve revised and republished the article—so you will see comments from the original.

You Might Also Like:

• How to Lead When Your Employees Don’t Have to Follow
• One Surprising Reason Your Nonprofit Struggles to Grow
• Boost Productivity with a Human-Centered Culture

The post How To Recruit Leaders In Your Volunteer Organization appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

When your organization or team communicates effectively, you’re nimble. You can respond to change quickly. But if your organization doesn’t invest in effective workplace communication, you’ll face a constant series of misunderstandings that waste time, create conflict, and drag down everyone’s performance. One easy-to-use workplace communication tool will eliminate most of these frustrations, save you time, and improve performance and morale.

Stop Asking “Do You Understand?”

Every moment of communication with your team or customer is precious. Especially in hybrid, remote, or fast-moving organizations, you’ve got to make every interaction count.

But one of the worst ways to waste these precious moments is by asking, “Do you understand?”

If the person answers “yes”—well, you know nothing more than you did before you asked. They said “yes,” but what does that “yes” actually mean?

Maybe they think they understand (and whether they do or not, you don’t know). Or maybe they just told you yes because that’s what they think you expect to hear.

Perhaps they just want to move on and get to their next task, so they say “yes” hoping to leave the conversation.

Regardless of the person’s intent, when someone tells you, “yes, I understand,” you know nothing more than you did before you asked. And you rarely learn about problems in understanding until later when things go wrong.

Now, if they tell you “no, I don’t understand,” that is better in the sense that now you have new information. But you still don’t know where the confusion happened or what to do about it. And it required the person you asked to have the courage to admit they didn’t understand (which shouldn’t take courage, but often does).

Maximize Your Workplace Communication ROI: Check for Understanding

You can make the most of every conversation and eliminate hours, days, even months of frustration, headache, and heartache by shifting away from “do you understand?” Instead, ask an open-ended question that helps both of you immediately figure out how well you grasp what one another has said. We call this a “check for understanding.”

Check for Their Understanding

When you check for understanding, ask the other person what they understand (not if they understand). There are many ways you can do this. Here are a few examples:

• “Let’s check for understanding here, what are the next steps we will take?”
• “I’d like to make sure we’re on the same page. What’s happening now?”
• “What’s your understanding of our agreement?”

All of these questions are open ended – the person answering will share what they know. There is no yes/no pressure to be right. It’s about sharing their perspective so we can move forward efficiently.

As you hear them summarize in their words, you’ll know what they know and where they are missing critical information. Now you can clarify and ensure everyone has what they need.

Check for Your Understanding

When you are on the receiving end of communication from a colleague, team member, supervisor, board member, spouse, child, friend – or anyone else, you can use the check for understanding to make sure you’ve got it.

This time, you’ll repeat back what you understand and ask for clarification. For example:

• “I’m hearing that we need to move this project up to deliver this Friday and that we should postpone our work on the marketing effort until next week. Do I have that right?”
• “It sounds like we’ve agreed to add a full-time person to this team. If that’s right, I’ll talk to HR to get it posted.”
• “It seems like this task will take about five hours, is that what you had in mind?”
• “I’m hearing that competing data requests from other teams are keeping you from getting what you need to complete this on time. Is that right?”

In all these examples, you don’t allow yourself to assume you understand. You double check. Sometimes you’ll extend that check for understanding to add more clarity. For example:

• “Thanks for confirming. So, what I see happening next is that the product team will be worried. How will we communicate the change with them?”
• “Okay, so not five hours. You want a 30 minute estimation. Are you comfortable with a range then as opposed to a specific number?”

Whether you check for their understanding or yours, now everyone has the same information.

Organizational Check for Understanding

One of the most frustrating parts of life in organizations that grow beyond one level of organization is cascading communication. We constantly hear the workplace communication frustration of senior leaders who don’t understand why everyone isn’t on the same page.

The problem usually stems from a lack of – you guessed it, checking for understanding. But there are usually two or even three checks that need to happen.

If you’re a senior leader who has information to cascade through the organization (and it’s not passive information – people need to do something with it), you need to ensure that everyone’s got it and acts on it. Here’s how you do it:

1. Start with your direct report team.

In addition to the key message, clarify with the team that part of their responsibility is to ensure that their team understands and acts on the message. Check for understanding with your direct reports. For example, “Okay, if there aren’t any more questions, let’s check for understanding. What needs to happen next? By when?” Make sure they’ve got cascading and ensuring understanding as part of their next steps.

2. Skip-level check for understanding.

Once the cascading timeline passes, have some conversations with people who report to your team. Ask then, “What is your understanding of [topic / key message]?”

Listen to what they say. If they have it wrong, don’t chastise them. Instead, gently correct: “Oh, actually, here’s what’s happening… What questions are coming up for you?”  Then you can wrap up with another check for understanding: “Just to make sure I’m communicating as clearly as I hope to, what are you hearing me say here?”

3. Coach the managers whose people don’t have it.

This is a critical step if you want a nimble, responsive, accountable organization. You’ve got to hold your team member responsible for their team’s understanding of the message. If their team doesn’t have it, that’s your team member’s responsibility.

Check in with your team member. Let them know they had some folks struggling with the message. Check with them about how they’re communicating. How are they checking for understanding themselves? Are they? (Or are they falling back on “do you understand” and failing to learn what people actually know?)

If the manager continues to struggle, it may help to attend a meeting where they will be communicating and observe how they do it and then coach them after the meeting. This rarely takes more than once or twice before they figure it out and ensure clear communication.

Eliminate Common Workplace Communication Barriers

Once leaders learn how to check for understanding, there are four common obstacles that get in the way of clear communication.

1. Concern that it takes too long

We get it—when time is short, every second feels precious.

But the investment in clear understanding gives you back so much time later that you won’t spend cleaning up misunderstandings, re-doing work, and solving unnecessary conflict.

2. Feeling like people should be “better than this”

“These are professionals. They should get this the first time.” We hear this one quite a bit.

Frankly, it’s nonsense. Human communication is challenging at the best of times and no one gets it right every time. Heck, we teach these concepts nearly every day, and we still have frequent misunderstandings where we’ll use the same word, but interpret it differently.

One of your most critical leadership responsibilities is communication. You can’t inspire, motivate, or take a group of people anywhere if you can’t communicate. And you haven’t communicated until everyone has shared understanding.

3. Intentional misunderstanding

When you hold everyone on your team responsible for their communication, you may discover a few folks who have been hiding behind intentional misunderstanding. After all, “if I leave it vague, I don’t have to follow through or disappoint anyone. I can’t be accountable for that.”

You and your team will coach some of these folks to greater accountability that will help their performance and relationships. Others may not want it and you’ll ultimately coach them out of the organization.

4. Avoiding negative emotions

Managers who struggle to check for understanding often want to avoid dealing with negative emotions.

If that key message is going to irritate or concern some of their team, they may deliver it without force. They might share the message, but not check for understanding because doing so opens the door for how people feel about the issue.

The person could say, “Yeah, I get it. Here’s what you’re saying. I just don’t like it.” Now what?

Help your managers learn to listen deeply, reflect what they hear—check for understanding about the team member’s concern and how they feel, and go from there. (And model this yourself.)

The next step might be to relay the employee’s concern to you. It might be to acknowledge how they feel and then ask for enrollment: “I hear that this is disappointing for you. I’m not asking you to feel differently. Is it something you can still do?”

Help your managers learn to listen and acknowledge without having to solve every problem or complaint and you’ll improve their ability to communicate.

Your Turn

In our leadership development programs, participants consistently rank the check for understanding as one of their most valuable tools. When you master this powerful workplace communication tool and infuse it throughout your team, you’ll be on your way to a nimble, responsive, and productive organization.

We’d love to hear from you—how have you used the check for understanding in your leadership? Do you have a story of a time people weren’t on the same page? Let’s hear your story!

The post Workplace Communication: Stop Asking “Do You Understand?” (and do this instead) appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

Often, people have unspoken values or expectations, and there isn’t one “right” way to do things. Maybe your manager never clarified an important process. Or the team hasn’t agreed on norms, so you’ve found yourself in a conflict cocktail of vague and unclear expectations and strong points of view.

Here’s an example that many remote and hybrid teams experience: should you have your cameras on during a meeting?

Your coworker, Rachel, may feel like it’s completely unnecessary. It drains her energy. Most of the time, no one asks her opinion anyway, and her surroundings aren’t chic, so why turn on the camera? For her, a camera-off policy is as comfortable as wearing pajamas during a work call – no one knows, but it feels just right.

For Zach, however, the lack of face time is disrespectful and frustrating as he presents his project and seeks feedback. “Cameras should always be on,” he insists, “unless you’ve got to step away or sneeze or something.” He views a camera-on policy like a firm handshake – a sign of respect and engagement.

“No,” interjects your colleague, Pat, “that’s wasteful and unnecessary. We only need to be on camera for clients or for a real discussion.” Pat prefers a pragmatic approach, seeing camera use as a tool, not a rule, like using an umbrella only when it rains.

This is a classic case of unclear expectations creating ‘camera drama,’ where a lack of established norms creates conflict. None of these people is “right” as there is no objectively “right or wrong” answer for cameras. It’s more about preference than policy, like choosing between coffee or tea for your morning boost.

Finding Clarity When Rules Are Fuzzy

In every organization, there will be activity that isn’t covered by a corporate policy. As norms shift, technology changes, and social standards develop, you and your team can resolve these ambiguous norms and unclear expectations with a conversation. If there’s no company policy, it can either become a conflict—or an opportunity to use some Powerful Phrases and build a team agreement, much like deciding on the office’s unofficial dress code.

This is one of those workplace conflicts that takes some investigation and intentional conversation to understand what’s happening. It’s so easy to get caught up in an argument without realizing that it’s really a lack of clarity, like arguing over who finished the milk without checking the fridge first. As you see a conflict building, start with Powerful Phrases that “put the fish on the table,” and help people understand what’s happening.

Note: This article contains 12 vital “clarity habits” for better collaboration.

Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Unclear Norms and Expectations

“It is very simple, but hard to do. Set expectations and follow through.”
-Male, 65, Israel, The World Workplace Conflict and Collaboration Survey

“It seems that we see this differently…”

Summarize the situation and call attention to the fact that people have different perspectives. This might feel like stating the obvious, but it helps everyone rise above their position to see the situation more objectively, like taking a step back to see the whole elephant, not just its trunk.

“Here’s the challenge we face…”

Now you describe the consequences if the lack of clarity continues. For example: “There’s no rule about this, so it’s up to us to figure out. The challenge we face if we don’t agree on how we use cameras is that we’ll all feel resentful, disrespected, and exhausted.”

“I know that’s not what we want… I’m confident we can…”

As you describe the negative consequences, you can then call everyone to their best intentions with this Powerful Phrase. It assumes good intent. For example:

“I know we don’t want to exhaust each other. And I know we all want to feel supported, seen, respected, and valued as we do our work. I’m confident we can come up with an agreement that will work for all of us.”

“Let’s decide how to decide.”

At this point in your conversation, the team might realize that it’s someone’s job to make a call. If so, invite them to the discussion or make an appointment to talk with them. Use the same Powerful Phrases from Chapter 12—Navigating Competing Goals to have a conversation with the decision-maker and get clarity.

But, when there’s no assigned decision-maker, it’s helpful to agree first on how the group will decide. Usually, this is going to be a vote or consensus. In a vote, the majority rules. In consensus, everyone can live with a choice, even if it wasn’t their first option. For example:

“Okay, this one’s our call. Is everyone comfortable with a vote? Or do we want to go for consensus?”

(And yes, that’s an example of a quick consensus decision about whether to use a vote or consensus. So meta, right?)

In conclusion, navigating the murky waters of workplace norms and unclear expectations can be like trying to assemble furniture without instructions – frustrating, but not impossible. By using Powerful Phrases, teams can not only build bridges over these gaps of misunderstanding but also strengthen their collaborative spirit. Remember, the goal isn’t to win the argument but to find a solution that works for everyone, like choosing a movie everyone can enjoy on movie night. So next time you’re in a camera-on or camera-off debate, remember, it’s not just about seeing faces; it’s about seeing eye to eye.

Your turn. What’s one powerful phrase you like to use to clarify unclear expectations?

Interested in more Powerful Phrases for Dealing With Workplace Conflict? Click on the image below to download FREE sample chapters.

Click here for FREE Sample Chapters

The post How to Navigate Unclear Expectations and Fuzzy Norms at Work appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

Commitment is vital to effective teamwork, collaboration, and results.

One of the most frustrating aspects of teamwork is the feeling of futility – of spinning your wheels. You connect with one another, establish clear success criteria, get curious, and build on one another’s suggestions, but nothing happens. Your conversation needs to produce action, or nothing changes. And if nothing changes, it’s worse than if you never had a conversation. Now you’ve wasted time, trust drips away, and people lose hope. The answer is to build shared agreements – commitments – that move you from words to action. In this final installment of our “Great Teamwork Series,” we share 12 collaboration habits to create commitment and build momentum with follow-through and results.

More in this excerpt from our interview on Brainwaves Anthology with Bob Greenberg.

Click here for more insights on creating commitment.

12 Habits Great Teams Consistently Do to Create Commitment and Build Collaboration

1. Ignite Action: Turn intentions into activities

Habit: I get things going—moving the conversation to create specific plans

When your team has tight conversations that lead to meaningful results, trust and morale improve along with the team’s capacity to make even more meaningful decisions. You can help your team avoid endless discussions, analysis paralysis, and chokepoints by moving conversations to intentions to specific actions.

Related Article: Help Your Team Do More-Stop (over) Talking and Start Doing

2. Say “No” for a Better Yes: Explain tradeoffs and gracefully decline opportunities that derail critical effort

Habit: I keep us focused on what matters most and empower a strategic “no.”

Related Article: How to Say No at Work: Powerful Phrases to Stand your Ground

It’s never easy to say no at work. After all, you want to be helpful, responsive, and a team player. And yet, every time you say “yes” to something or someone, you’re saying “no” to something or someone else. One way to help one another create commitment and say no effectively is to start with a “yes.” Do this is by affirming the request and the value the request might represent—that’s the “yes.” Then bridge to the context, consequences, and decisions—that’s the “no.”

3. Keep Things Organized: Provide structure the team needs to work efficiently

Habit: I make it easy to collaborate and integrate our work.

Can everyone find the information, tools, and data they need to do their work? If not, you’re wasting time interrupting each other asking for what you need or in frustrating fruitless searches. A little organization will help everyone work more efficiently. (Just avoid the temptation to over-organize. You’ll know this happens when you spend more time on the organization system than you do on your actual work.)

4. Create Ownership: Verify that every task has a specific person responsible for its completion

Habit: I ensure we conclude our meetings or conversations by clarifying responsibility.

When everyone’s responsible, no one is. Guarantee that any conversation requiring action ends with a specific person taking responsibility to follow through on an assignment. The project may require a team. But one person has ownership and responsibility to follow through.

5. Respect Confidentiality: Build trust with appropriate discretion and privacy

Habit: I protect sensitive information.

Related Article: Confidential Information – What to Say When You Can’t Say Anything

It can be tempting to share private information. It feels like a shortcut to building intimacy and connection. But every time you violate confidentiality, you tell the person you’re talking to that they can’t trust you with critical information. When you can’t share information, be honest about it. For example, “That’s not something I can talk about. It’s important that to me you can trust  that if we’re ever in a similar situation, I won’t talk about it then either.”

6. Schedule the Finish: Create shared appointments to meet, discuss, and conclude tasks

Habit: I confirm specific deliverables and timeframes for when we will follow up on our commitments.

You’ve got more to do than time to do it. Your plan is going to get interrupted, and your interruptions are going to get interrupted. If you don’t have an intentional, focused way to finish what you start, it won’t happen. Effective teams consistently achieve meaningful results and build a healthy culture–but they don’t leave it to chance or a heroic act of willpower. They create commitment by scheduling the finish with specific, shared appointments to follow through. These conversations consider competing priorities and adjust accordingly.

Related Article: High ROI Leadership: Schedule the Finish

7. Hold Others Accountable: Practice peer-to-peer check-ins and closure

Habit: When people don’t follow through, I follow up with them.

Look at the research about high-performing teams and one universal characteristic jumps out. In high-performing teams, accountability isn’t just the manager’s job—the team holds one another accountable (and their manager too). When you talk to high-performing teams, it’s easy to see that this team accountability doesn’t just happen. They work at it. Help your team succeed by following up and creating closure for commitments.

Related Article: Great Teams Hold One Another Accountable (You Can Too).

8. Honor Deadlines: Get work done on time and watch out for barriers

Habit: I take our commitments seriously, and proactively talk about obstacles that might derail our deliverables.

The distractions that creep up and disrupt our follow through feel like a surprise. But are they really? When you lift your gaze, look outward and ask “is there anything that could prevent us from making this commitment?” you can help your team anticipate and deal with these disruptions before they interfere with your focus.

9. Keep My Team on Track: Help your colleagues maintain focus and avoid distractions

Habit: I ensure our team meets our obligations together.

One of the most tempting distractions that can take you and your team off track is other meaningful work. That new shiny assignment may be great for your career – and so is delivering the results you’ve promised. You can help your team maintain focus and a manageable workload by suggesting “Let’s get this done before we take on that new project.”

Related Article: Get Your Team Back on Track: Leading Through Distractions

10. Do What I Say: Keep your commitments

Habit: I follow through and keep my word.

Can your team rely on you? Your reliability directly affects your team’s trust in you. Can they rely on one another? Often, when reliability breaks down, it’s not because people lack integrity, it’s because they said “yes” to something without fully thinking through what it would take to keep that commitment. You can increase your reliability by consistently scheduling the finish and discussing tradeoffs. (See #2 and #6 above.)

11. Speak with Candor: Give the gift of truth, spoken gracefully

Habit: I address difficult issues directly and in a timely manner.

Direct, honest communication helps everyone know where they stand and minimizes drama within your team. The earlier you address challenging situations, the easier they are to resolve.

12. Celebrate Success: Acknowledge wins in all their forms

Habit: I acknowledge wins, progress and learning.

You get more of what you encourage and celebrate, so take time to recognize all that you and your team have achieved together. You can do this in the middle of projects to energize one another for the road ahead. Pay attention to the different forms of “wins” – it’s not just successful completion. You can celebrate learning, progress, and improved capacity.

Related Articles: True Gratitude: More Than Pleasantries or Recognition and Leading Through Rapidly Changing Priorities

13. Your Turn: What habit would you add to create commitment and build shared agreements?

Note: This article is part four of our 4-part Better Teamwork Series. Find the other parts here:

1. Better Teamwork: 12 Practical Habits to Build Deeper Connection
2. Great Teams: 12 Practical Collaboration Habits to Create Clarity
3. Creative Teams: 12 Habits that Foster Curiosity and Collaboration

The post Create Commitment: 12 Habits to Build Agreement and Accountability appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

One of the fastest ways to get to the root cause of a workplace conflict is to show up genuinely curious about the other person’s perspective. Your sincere curiosity helps people feel seen and gives you a better understanding of what it will take to solve a problem.

This is often the hardest part of constructive conflict because you have your point of view for a reason. It’s hard to be curious when you feel angry or disrespected. And yet… the cool thing about curiosity is that when you ask a good question, it automatically helps pull you out of that reactivity. It’s hard to be angry and genuinely curious at the same time.

Great teams stay curious and creative. They show up genuinely interested in other perspectives and what’s possible.

And, curiosity is one of those skills that can feel hard to teach. Do, we’ve curated this list of curiosity habits and resources to make it easier to infuse curiosity into your team’s culture.

Click here to hear more of our thoughts on curiosity and collaboration.

Note: This is part three of our four-part “Better Teamwork” series. You can check out the other dimensions and their powerful habits here.

Part 1: Better Teamwork: 12 Practical Habits to Build Deeper Connection.

Part 2: Great Teams: 12 Practical Collaboration Habits to Create Clarity

Part 4: Create Commitment: 12 Habits that Build Agreement and Accountability

12 Habits to Foster More Curiosity and Creativity on Your Team

1. Seek New Approaches

Habit: I explore possibilities and look for alternative paths to achieve goals.

In today’s fast-paced, uncertain world, it doesn’t make sense to keep doing what you’re doing without serious conversation about whether the status quo still makes sense. Creative teams learn from what’s working (and are honest about what’s not). They’ve got an eye out for new ways of working.

Related Article: 7 Ways to Help Your Team Be More Resourceful

You can download our FREE I.D.E.A. Incubator Guide Here.

2. Challenge Assumptions

Habit: I ask provocative questions to help us think at a deeper level.

This habit is about peeling back layers, not to be contrarian, but to understand deeply and maybe find a better, more effective path.

Here are a few questions to ask to inspire more creativity in your team:

• How would our competitors approach this problem?
• How would we handle this issue if our budget was cut in half?
• What would happen if we did the opposite of our plan?
  
  

Related Article: Assumption Busters: 12 Strategic Questions to Propel Your Team’s Strategic Thinking

3. Change My Mind

Habit: I’m open to new information, insights, and perspectives—and am willing to change course

The willingness to change your mind doesn’t signify weakness or indecisiveness; rather, it’s a strength, a testament to your intellectual flexibility and curiosity.

It means being open to new ideas, perspectives, and evidence, even if they challenge long-held beliefs or opinions. In a world brimming with diverse viewpoints and groundbreaking discoveries, the ability to adapt and reconsider is not just beneficial, it’s essential.

Related Article How to Work for an Indecisive Boss

4. Try New Things

Habit: I regularly step into the unfamiliar or uncomfortable to do what we haven’t done before.

Creative teams are willing to experiment. If you want to build this habit on your team, one way to do this is through a “mini personal experiment.”  We’re also big believers in trying new things with a carefully measured pilot.

Related Article: HBR How to Scale a Successful Pilot

5. Share Ideas

This habit is about sharing best practices and proactively speaking up to share your ideas, which if you’ve been hanging around us for a while you know we’re all about this.

Habit: I’m on the lookout for new approaches and confidently bring them up

Related Articles: Share Your Ideas: Practical Ways to Ensure Your Voice Is Heard

Psychological Safety: Why People Don’t Speak Up at Work 

6. Take Appropriate Risks

(P.S. These habits are all part of our SynergyStack System. Learn more here).

Habit: I make decisions doing the best we can with the information we have.

Related Article/Video: Taking Risks: How to Make it Easier for Your Team to Try New Things

7. Invite Input

Habit: I ask for ideas, information, and perspective.

This is more than saying ideas are welcome, or that you have an open door. What matters most is to make a habit of proactively asking in different ways.

For example, build a cadence of asking for input into your one-on-ones, and executive visits. This is a great place to start.

Related Video: The Secret to Getting Remarkable Ideas You Can Actually Use (Karin Hurt TEDx)

And Article:  Empower Your Team to Make Better Decisions

8. Ask First

Closely related to the invite input habit above, this one can be tricky when you’re passionate and have lots of great ideas.

A few Powerful Phrases that come in handy here.

“I’m curious what this looks like from your perspective.” and “Tell me more.”

Habit: Before stating my perspective, I invite others into the conversation.

9. Ask Courageous Questions

Habit: I ask practical, specific questions that make us better.

We love Courageous Questions because they are easier to answer and get your team talking. Inviting your teammates to consider ONE way or ONE idea to do something specific is a great way to encourage your team to be more creative and solutions-focused.

Related Article: Courageous Questions: How to Make It Easier to Get Better Insights

10. Learn from Experience

Habit: I pay close attention to what we did before and help our team to do better next time.

One of our favorite ways to do this is with a “post-project celebration” where you ask strategic questions to celebrate success and learning.

Related Articles: Beyond Post Mortems: A Post-Project Celebration 

From Fiasco to Opportunity: How to Reframe a Team Setback With Better Words

11. Investigate How Things Work

Habit: I ask “why” repeatedly to understand how our organization does what it does.

It’s amazing to see the lightbulbs go off in our training programs when people get a chance to ask some of the “why” questions they are holding back. Take time to slow down and make it more than “okay.” Expecting people to ask the “whys” behind the “what’s” is a fast track to more creative teams.

12. Walk in Others’ Shoes

Habit: I want to understand your perspective and what my decisions and actions mean for you. 

We’re big fans of a good field trip (literal or figurative) where you work to understand the inputs and outputs of processes and decisions. This is particularly vital in a matrix organization.

Related Article: Matrix Organization: Powerful Questions to Reduce Angst and Build Trust

These twelve habits are a great place to start when working to build more creative teams, foster connections, and make work, work better. We’d love to hear from you about your best practices.

What habits are making the biggest difference as you work to take your team to the next level?

Want to de-stress your workday, build collaboration, and calm difficult customers?

Our new book, Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict: What to Say Next to Destress the Workday, Build Collaboration, and Calm Difficult Customers has 300+ practical techniques and useful words for better collaboration, You can take a quick peek at some of our new conflict and collaboration programs here.

The post Creative Teams: 12 Habits That Foster Curiosity and Collaboration appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

Clarity is key to better collaboration and more productive workplace conflict.

Click here for more insights on clarity and collaboration.

Think about any significant conflict you have now, or had in the past. We’re willing to bet that the source of the conflict includes an expectation violation of some kind. You thought they’d clean up their coffee cups after the meeting. They thought the magic coffee mug fairy would take care of it.

Everyone carries around expectations of one another. And sometimes, you don’t even know what you expect until someone doesn’t live up to it.  The second dimension of constructive workplace conflict from our new book, Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict, involves getting everyone on the same page: creating clarity about outcomes and expectations.

One of the common mistakes we see people make in workplace conflict is that they don’t clearly understand what success looks like. So you get conversations like this.

Jack: “I don’t like this.”

Jill: “Okay, what would you like to see happen.”

Jack: “I don’t know. I’m not sure what I want.

Can you feel the frustration? That’s a conversation that can’t go anywhere (And before you feel bad when you show up like Jack… listen, we do it too.)

When you get clear for yourself and help other people find their clarity, now you can have a more productive conversation.

12 Habits Great Teams Consistently Do to Create Better Clarity and Collaboration

Here are 12 foundational habits to create greater clarity. Note that this is part two of our better teamwork series (links to the other three articles are at the bottom of this page).

1. Define Success: Visualize and articulate your vision for a desired future

Habit: I establish clear outcomes and expectations.

Engage others on your team by asking, “What does winning truly look like?” Great teams don’t assume everyone’s on the same page. They take time to describe the desired future with specific goals, expectations, and measurements of success.

Related Article: How to Build a Great Team Culture

2. Know What Matters Most: Understand how your work connects to the bigger picture

Habit: I seek out the bigger why behind any task.

Before you can make meaning (see Habit 3 below), understand the bigger why.

3. Make Meaning: Establish a bridge between daily tasks and overarching objectives

Habit: I help connect the work we do to the bigger picture

Great teams don’t just perform tasks; they delve into the “why” behind their work. They seek a deeper understanding and purpose. Be sure you and your teammates can finish this sentence. “This (work, project, process, procedure) is so important because…”

4. Set Clear Expectations: Articulate a clear definition of success

Habit: I communicate clear and specific expectations.

One good conversation about expectations prevents fourteen “why didn’t you” conversations. One secret to better collaboration is clear expectations.

Related Article: Creating Clarity: Strategic Activities for Human-Centered Leaders

5. Communicate Consistently: Vary communication to break through distractions

Habit: I build a proactive communication plan to get everyone on the same page. 

People make memories based on recency, recall, repetition, and emotion. If you want an important message to cut through distractions, communicate multiple times through different channels. Great teams prioritize communication.

Related Article:  Remote Team Communication: How to Send Memorable Messages

6. Check For Understanding: Ensure the message you intend to send is the message received

Habit: I ensure the message sent is the message received.

You always make sense to you, but how do you know your team understood what you meant? How do you know you’ve understood what someone says to you? Good communication involves a feedback loop: a send and a receive.

Related Article: Check for Understanding: A Leadership Communication Best Practice

7. Schedule the Finish: Close the loop with a clear commitment

Habit: I confirm specific deliverables and timeframes for when we will follow up on commitments.

You’ve got more to do than time to do it. Your plan is going to get interrupted. Your interruptions are going to get interrupted. If you don’t have an intentional, focused way to finish what you start, it won’t happen. Great teams don’t leave accountability to chance or a heroic act of willpower. They set clear expectations about deliverables and timeframes.

Related Article: High ROI Leadership: Schedule the Finish 

8. Prioritize What Matters Most: Spend time on activities that will have the biggest impact

Habit: I spend my time working on our most important things. 

Great teams understand that there’s always an infinite need and finite me, so mind the MIT (most important thing). Want a great team? Prioritize activities and habits on what will have the biggest impact.

Related Article: Productivity at Work—How to Lead Highly Productive Teams

9. Clarify Others’ Interests: Understand what a successful outcome looks like for others

Habit: I seek to understand what matters most to others.

One easy way to foster collaboration is to ask, “What would a successful outcome look like for you?”

10. Look for Common Ground: Seek opportunities for alignment

Habit: I help people realize our shared objectives. 

Great teams have a knack for finding common ground and using that as a starting point for collaboration.

11. Share Information and Best Practices: Proactively communicate helpful insights

Habit: I freely contribute what I know to make work easier for others.

Great teams build a habit of sharing what’s working. They look for ways to be helpful and to make one another’s work a bit lighter.

Related Article: How to Share Best Practices That Improve Results

12. Share Concerns: Initiate important conversations

Habit: You can count on me to tell you what’s on my heart and mind.

Collaborative teammates say what needs to be said and have the hard conversations sooner.

Related Article: How to Start the Conversation Everyone Wants to Avoid

See Also the other 3 Articles in our 4-Part Collaboration Habits Series

Better Teamwork: 12 Practical Team Habits to Build Deeper Connection

Creative Teams: 12 Habits That Foster Curiosity and Collaboration

Create Commitment: 12 Habits to Build Agreement and Accountability

The post Great Teams: 12 Practical Collaboration Habits to Create Clarity appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

“Hi Karin, we’ve just received word that after much debate and deliberation, there is a company-wide mandate that EVERYONE must return to office at the beginning of the year.

I know my team is not a fan (and quite frankly, neither am I). I get the rationale, AND it’s going to make all of our lives a bit harder.

We’re past the point of making a case; I’ve been told that this is no longer up for discussion. It’s time to communicate this to my team. The timing is terrible. It’s so close to the holidays I feel like the Grinch who delivered bad news.”

What’s the best way to communicate this to my team #AskingforaFriend

4 Approaches to Get Your Team Past the Disapointment and Moving Forward Productively

As a leader, not every decision you make will be popular. Sometimes you’ll be tasked with delivering news that you know won’t be popular. So, how do you communicate these tough decisions effectively? In the video above, I share four strategies that can help. Here’s a bit more.

1. Create Clarity

Communicate the ‘Why’ Behind the Decision

• Explain the Rationale: Your team will be more receptive when they understand the “why” behind the decision. It’s easy to assume they know. But keep in mind, they’ve not been in the same meetings as you. They haven’t heard the case from both sides of the argument. What seems obvious to you, might not be clear to them. Be transparent about the factors that led to the decision to return to office.
• Anticipate Questions: Prepare yourself for the questions your team might have and address these proactively in your communication.

Communicating the Decision Clearly

• Be Transparent: When you’re worried about how people will respond, it can be easy to throw the bad news in the”diaper genie” and disguise it with spin and ambiguous language. Better to speak the truth.
• Be Direct but Empathetic: Acknowledge that the news might not be what the team wants to hear, but it’s necessary.

2. Cultivate Connection

Creating a Supportive Environment

• Open Dialogue: Encourage your team to share their feelings and concerns.
• Reflect to Connect: Show that you’ve heard them by reflecting on what you’ve heard them say. “It sounds like you’re really frustrated.” “What I’m hearing you say is that the commute is going to create childcare issues for you.” The Powerful Phrases Connection G.O.A.T.s work well here.

Maintaining Team Morale

• Focus on the Positive: Highlight any potential benefits or opportunities from this change.
• Provide Support: Offer resources or additional support to help your team adapt to the change that comes with the return to office initiative.

3. Cultivate Curiosity

Encouraging Team Involvement

• Brainstorm Together: Invite your team to share ideas to make the transition smoother. A great question to start is by asking “How can we…” make the most of this situation?
• Respond with Regard: Respond to their ideas with gratitude (thanking them for their contribution), information (what will happen next– even if it’s not something you can do), and an invitation to continue contributing.

Focusing on Innovation

• Think Forward: Discuss how this decision might lead to new opportunities for growth, innovation, and collaboration.
• Encourage Creativity: Challenge your team to think creatively about how they can turn this situation to their advantage.

4. Create Commitment

Ensuring Understanding and Agreement

• Recap the Plan: Summarize the key points of the decision and the plan moving forward.
• Check for Understanding: Make sure everyone is on the same page and understands their role in the implementation.

Setting the Course for Action

• Schedule the Finish: Lay out clear, actionable steps for how to proceed.
• Regular Check-Ins: Schedule follow-ups to assess progress, address any issues, and provide ongoing support.

Communicating unpopular decisions like return to office is undoubtedly challenging, but it’s a part of the leadership journey. By creating clarity, cultivating connection and curiosity, and creating commitment, you can navigate these tough conversations with more confidence and empathy. Remember, the way you communicate can significantly impact how your team receives and reacts to the decision.

Have you had to deliver difficult news to your team? What strategies worked for you? Please share your experiences, and let’s learn from each other.

Related Articles:

How to Stay Productive as You Return to the Office

Leadership Communication: How Do I Get Everyone On the Same Page?

Human-Centered Communication with Lizabeth Wesely-Casella

The post 4 Powerful Communication Strategies for an Unpopular Return to Office Decision appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

Just like any other outcome in life, if you want better teamwork, you need better habits. And yet, most teams don’t take the time to identify and commit to the habits that will make them truly successful.

You can’t become an ultramarathoner without the habit of running. You can’t publish a book without writing regularly. Any customer service expert will tell you that you can’t create a great customer experience without a habit of doing what matters to your customers.

It’s the same when you want better teamwork. You can’t build a connected team without consistent, meaningful habits. Team connection doesn’t come from a few pizza lunches or virtual icebreakers. It’s about how you’re showing up every single day for your team, particularly during times of stress and change.

We find that teams frequently overlook these connection habits. In our experience, teams that know each other well often don’t work on good connection habits because they don’t think they need to invest in one another. And they allow some of the most destructive habits to creep in.

“Oh, we don’t need to connect with empathy. We’re past all that. We’re such good friends. I can just tell him he’s a jerk and his idea is stupid. He knows I don’t mean it…”

Or, “fun” (sometimes mandated) is for after hours, and the rest of the day is an intense slog. Or team members can’t tell each other the truth, for fear of losing connection — which, of course, destroys genuine connection, while creating a surface illusion of teamwork.

Click to watch an excerpt from our conversation with Bob Greenberg

12 Habits That Build Better Team Connection

In this “Better Teamwork” series, we’ll be talking about habits that foster collaboration and make teams stronger. Starting with 12 habits that lead to a better connection. Here are a dozen to get you started. What would you add as #13?

1. Connect With Empathy: Understand and be in tune with your colleagues’ emotions.

Habit: I care about you and show you in my words and actions.

Empathy is a bridge to deeper understanding and trust. When you genuinely recognize and respond to the emotions of team members, it creates a safe space for open dialogue and vulnerability. You can kick-start a supportive conversation with: “It sounds like you’re really frustrated…”

2. Know You Beyond Work: Forge deeper connections by knowing more about your teammates.

Habit: I take time to learn about your people, pets, and projects.

For better teamwork, dive deeper than just professional interactions. When you understand someone’s life, it’s easier to understand their perspectives and motivations at work. Ask about hobbies, families, and dreams. Kick off a chat with questions like: “How’s your new puppy? Is she eating your dirty socks?”

3. Find the Fun: Ensure that amid all the work, there’s room for fun and light-heartedness.

Habit: I find a way to play—to energize our teamwork and lighten the load.

During tight deadlines and serious discussions, a little levity can go a long way in building better teamwork and fostering connection. Laughter can reduce stress and increase creativity. Break the monotony and propose a lighter approach: “What if we gamified this?”

4. Prioritize Peers: Support and celebrate your colleague’s successes.

Habit: I work to help you succeed. Your win is my win.

When team members support one another, they amplify their collective potential. Show your commitment to their success with: “How can I be most helpful?”

5. Ask for Feedback: Consistently get your team’s and colleagues’ insights to help you be your best.

Habit: I invite your perspective and consider what you say.

Receiving feedback helps in self-awareness and continuous improvement. Request input by asking: “What’s working and what can I do better?”

6. Listen Actively: Prove you’re really listening by not just hearing, but showing that you understand.

Habit: I give my full attention in our conversations, paying close attention to what you say and how you say it.

Listening is more than just processing words; it’s about understanding and validating emotions and intent. Active listening fosters respect,  understanding, and better teamwork. Urge colleagues to open up more with: “And what else?”

7. Show Up Real: Authenticity creates trust. Share more about your genuine self.

Habit: I let you know who I am and the gifts I bring to the team.

In an era of polished personas, authenticity is refreshing and reassuring. Being genuine can pave the way for deeper, more meaningful connections. Make yourself more relatable by sharing: “Something you should know about me is…”

8. Clarify My Values and Goals: Make sure your team knows what drives and motivates you.

Habit: I know what matters most to me.

Knowing where you stand provides a foundation on which others can build. Clear values and goals foster alignment and ensure everyone heads in the same direction. Open up a dialogue with: “Here’s what’s most important to me…”

9. Apologize Readily: Own up to your mistakes and take steps to rectify them.

Habit: I take responsibility for my mistakes and own the impact.

Everyone makes mistakes. The difference lies in recognizing them and making amends. Strengthen trust and rebuild connections by saying a genuine: “I’m sorry.”

10. Celebrate Diversity: Embrace and highlight the unique qualities and perspectives of every team member.

Habit: I do my best to create an atmosphere of inclusion and belonging.

Varied backgrounds and perspectives are an awesome foundation for better teamwork. Diverse teams are more innovative and adaptive. Nurture an environment where everyone feels seen and valued by asking: “What’s important for me to know and understand right now?”

11. Be Present: Give your undivided attention to the task and team at hand.

Habit: I show up strong, focused on our team and the work we are doing.

In our always-on, multi-tasking world, giving undivided attention is a gift. Being fully present signals respect and importance. Show your commitment to the moment and the team:  “I’ve turned off my phone; let’s do this!”

12. Give Credit: Highlight the strengths and contributions of your team members.

Habit: I generously acknowledge others’ contributions, ideas, and successes.

Recognizing and crediting the efforts of others fosters goodwill and encouragement. Appreciation can boost morale and drive further excellence. Lift up your teammates with genuine praise: “The real genius behind this project was ____. I couldn’t have done it without them!”

13. Your Turn: What habit would you add to foster connection for better teamwork?

Note: This article is part one of our 4-part Better Teamwork series.

Great Teams: 12 Practical Habits to Create Clarity

Creative Teams: 12 Habits that Foster Curiosity and Collaboration

Create Commitment: 12 Habits to Build Agreement and Accountability.

The post Better Teamwork: 12 Practical Team Habits to Build Deeper Connection appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

Every truly high-performing team has one thing in common: They spend time in candid conversation talking about what’s working and consistently look for ways to improve. They look at the work they’re doing and ask “how can we” do this EVEN BETTER?

And they enjoy and celebrate their success.

And yet, when you’re neck deep in urgent deadlines, fast pivots, and navigating uncertainty and change,  it’s easy to postpone those vital conversations to “someday when we have more time.” And of course, that someday may never come. Or, that conversation gets lost in the sauce of all the other important conversations at your end-of-year offsite.

But what if you carved out an hour a month to have the most critical conversations to lead your team toward high performance? Here are ten important questions to start with when building a high-performing team. What would you add?

10 Vital Conversations to Build a High-Performing Team

1. What is our vision for a great team culture?
2. How do we better leverage the strengths of every team member?
3. How do we best communicate?
4. What are our most important strategic priorities (and how do we best achieve them)?
5. How can we build deeper trust and connection?
6. How do we enhance the effectiveness of our meetings?
7. What can we do to give more meaningful feedback?
8. How will we hold one another accountable (with compassion)?
9. How will we celebrate success and learn from mistakes?
10. What ideas do we have to improve our team’s performance?

1.  What is our team vision for a great team culture?

If you are really looking to build a high-performing team, the most important place to start is with a clear definition of success.

An easy way to do this is to invite everyone on your team to draw two pictures: one of the team as they see it now, and one as they would like it to be. Discuss the themes and approaches for getting to your desired state.

Or, you can go a level deeper and involve your team in defining key values and behaviors critical for your team’s success. See How to Build a Great Team Culture.

2.  How do we better leverage the strengths of every team member?

Click on the image to download our “Land in the AND tool.

Another characteristic of a truly high-performing team is that they truly understand the strengths and gifts each member brings. They encourage confident-humility and focus on results and relationships.

Team members know their strengths, own them and use them. And, they know and admit their vulnerabilities and ask for help.

If you’re looking to help your team “land in the and” of confidence and humility AND results and relationships, click on the image to the right to download this free high-performing team conversation tool.

3.  How do we best communicate?

Our clients tell us that one reason our leadership programs lead to sustained culture change is that everyone adopts a common vocabulary.

High-performing teams have a habit of “checking for understanding” to ensure key messages are received and “scheduling the finish” to ensure everyone is aligned on what “done” looks like.

4.  What are our most important strategic priorities (and how do we best achieve them)?

If you’re a regular reader of our blog or books, you know we’re all about the MIT (Most Important Thing). One of the biggest differentiators of high-performing teams is that they have real clarity about what success looks like, and the critical behaviors to achieve them.

One of the most important one-hour investments you can make is to talk about your MITs and how you will achieve them. This Creating Clarity article gives you a clear road-map to do that well.

5.  How can build deeper trust and connection

click to download conversations starters.

Trust starts with connection. Sure, building trust takes more than an hour, but it can start by having deeper conversations. Our B.E.C.O.M.E. model is a good place to start, as are compassionate conversations starters. Click on the image to the right to download those conversation starters to use with your team.

6.  How do we enhance the effectiveness of our meetings?

When should you have a meeting? Who should be included? Which meetings make sense? Which needs to go? How can you enhance your asynchronous communication to eliminate meetings and help level the playing field for remote team members across different time zones?

How will you make decisions in these meetings? We’ve been helping so many teams have these important conversations. And, it’s pretty amazing the progress that can be made in an hour.

7.  What can we do to give more meaningful feedback?

Another characteristic of high-performing teams is that they “ditch the diaper genie” and have important, candid conversations that will help one another to grow and improve. And, it’s important to set the stage for this 360 feedback upfront.  

8.  How will we hold one another accountable (with compassion)?

It’s easy to think about accountability as your job as the manager. But the truth is, the highest-performing teams hold one another accountable. 

It’s worth an hour to not only talk about shared accountability but also to give your team a practical tool to do that well. Our I.N.S.P.I.R.E. method is a good start. 

9.  How will we celebrate success and learn from our mistakes?

High-performing teams take time to celebrate success and learn from their mistakes. They look down the mountain and see how far they’ve come. They make plans about how to celebrate and when it’s most important. And, they master the art of post-project celebrations. 

10.  What ideas do we have to improve our team’s performance?

Okay, if you’ve been following any of our research or writing on Courageous Cultures (download the first few chapters of our latest book for FREE here), you knew this was coming. High-performing teams have strong psychological safety and encourage one another to share their ideas. 

This conversation can start with a well-spent hour. Of course, to continue to build a truly high-performing team, we also encourage you to build this into your regular meeting cadence and one-on-ones.

Introducing the Let’s Grow Leaders Team Accelerator Program!

Imagine if you had a structured, scaffolded way to easily hold these critical conversations for building a high-performing team. That’s why we’ve built our new Team Accelerator Program. In just one hour a month, you have the framework and support tools you need to hold these conversations with confidence.

Your team will become more connected, efficient, and focused on what matters most.

Get a free Team Accelerator Demo for a first-hand view of this practical approach to building a high-performing team.

Your turn: What conversations do you think are most important when building a high-performing team?

The post How to Build a High-Performing Team: Ten Vital Conversations appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.