So thanks for the “Asking For a Friend” blog post idea, and I will include a link to a longer answer once I write it 😉

For now, the INSPIRE method works very well in all directions (even with your boss), but it’s important to make some adjustments.

First, as with all feedback conversations, ground yourself and really think this through. If you come from a place of frustration or anger, you might find your manager becomes defensive.

Next, how you I-Initiate the conversation matters a lot.

“I really care about you, this team, and our success, and I have an observation that might be helpful. Would you be interested in hearing that?”

(Note: If you start the feedback conversation in that way, your manager is much more likely to be open to the feedback. I’m consistently asking groups of managers “if you knew someone truly cared about you and your career, would you want them to tell you the truth if they had some feedback?”– the answer is always 100% yes. Most people really want to improve.)

Then do your N (Notice) and S (Support) steps.

Notice the behavior with examples.

Your P (Probe) can take on a different tenor… instead of “what’s going on?” Or, “why do you think this keeps happening?” You might try something like, “I’d love to help you with this, is there anything that I can do to support you?” Or, if you’ve noticed they’ve not met a commitment, you can follow the notice statement with, “I just want to check in with you on this to see what’s going on and how I can help.”

You can still schedule the follow-up with the E-Enforce by recapping the next steps.

I’ll be back more soon with an Asking For a Friend response 😉