If it feels like you’re experiencing more conflict at work over the last few years, you’re in good company. Our research shows that not only is conflict more frequent, but it’s also getting more challenging to navigate. Today’s examples of workplace conflict can best be described as a complex cocktail of challenges: tired workers in an uncertain economy; a pandemic hangover of isolation and anxiety; rapid social and technological change; and exhausted managers doing the best they can– many of whom lack the training and resources to navigate this well.

4 Examples of Workplace Conflict (And What to Say Next)

This guide is your recipe book, offering you a few Powerful phrases and strategies needed to craft the perfect chaser to the biggest examples of workplace conflict. So, cheers to you as we give you some starter words to navigate these conflict cocktails.

The Conflict Cocktail: The Wedge Driver

The pandemic sped up changes in the workforce. More than ever before, people want meaning in their work. And, work itself is changing fast. The World Workplace Conflict and Collaboration results citing continued overwhelm, economic instability, lower levels of motivation, and poor management are symptoms of this upheaval.

Larger organizations have people scattered across seven different time zones. In a world of remote work, many of these people have never met each other in person.

Most managers don’t have formal training on how to deal with such issues (27% of the respondents in our research attribute the increase in conflict to poor management practices).

If you’re in a matrixed organization, it gets more complicated. Lines of responsibility can be fuzzy, and your priorities or incentives might clash with your coworkers’ goals. But you need your coworkers’ help to succeed at your job.

That’s a conflict cocktail.

What to Say Next

(See Chapters 9 and 11 of Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict: What to Say When You’re Overwhelmed and What to Say When Expectations Aren’t Clear)

This is one of the trickiest examples of workplace conflict, but there is hope. The antidote to uncertainty is clarity, so start by aligning around a vision of success.

“What would a successful outcome DO for you.” 

You may or may not agree on what success looks like, but when you’re dealing with a remote workforce dealing with lots of change, gaining clarity around expectations can save a lot of time and wasted energy. This powerful question also gives you insights into deeper motives and unspoken expectations.

Andi, if expectations are unclear, or there are differences of opinion about how to handle a situation, you can try this combination of Powerful Phrases.

“It seems that we see this differently.”

Rapid change and new technology can often lead to unclear norms. How do we use AI? And, how do we check the facts? What communication channels are appropriate for what messages? Should cameras always be on in team meetings? What about customer conversations? One-on-ones? 

“Here’s the challenge we face..“

And then describe the consequences if the lack of clarity continues.  For example, “There’s no rule about this, so it’s up to us to figure it out. The challenge we face if we don’t agree on how we …. (use cameras in meetings, include people in radically different time zones on decisions, communicate sensitive information when we can’t look each other in the eye). So it’s up to us to figure it out. The challenge we face if we don’t agree on how we use cameras is that we’ll all feel resentful, disrespected, and exhausted.”

It’s also helpful to empower every member of your team with words to say when they’re feeling overwhelmed. Here are a few of our favorites to deal with such examples of workplace conflict.

“If I had to drop a ball here, which one should that be?”

and simply, “I could use some help.”

The Missed Shot

See chapters 10 (I feel visible or ignored), 23 (boss doesn’t see my genius), and 26 (know it alls) 

The missed shot happens when you combine a fast-moving manager with a thoughtful employee with innovative thoughts they’re keeping to themselves because they don’t want to slow things down or appear negative.

What’s left behind? Potentially revolutionary ideas or vital micro-innovations – unspoken, unexplored, overshadowed by the urgency of immediate tasks.

This ‘missed shot’ phenomenon is not just a communication gap; it’s a significant loss for organizational innovation.

The most transformative ideas often emerge from those who take time to think deeply, analyze thoroughly, and speak after careful consideration. When these ideas are overlooked, you miss out on opportunities for big ideas and smaller micro-innovations that would make work, work better.

What to Say Next

So how do navigate this conflict cocktail?

If you’re a manager, be deliberate in your ask. This is more than an open door.

Ask specific courageous questions such as:

“What’s one thing we’re missing in this process?”

Or…

“What’s your biggest concern about the plan we’ve laid out?”

And if you’re the one with the overlooked ideas, you won’t want to miss chapter 10 (on feeling invisible and ignored) and chapter 23 (doesn’t appreciate you or see your genius).

“I have an idea that will ______ (insert strategic benefit statement here).”

A strong benefit statement in the first sentence is the best way to slow down a well-meaning, fast-moving manager.

“I know you haven’t had much opportunity to see my ability to ______. What if I took on _____ (a special project, a pilot of an idea).”

The Power Trap

Several chapters from Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict work well here (Chapter 13, Matrix Organization; Chapter 18, Micro-Manager, Chapter 20, Boss Won’t Make a Decision,

Has this ever happened to you? You’re on the hook for results, and you want to achieve them. But there’s a catch. You’re not empowered to make the decisions you need to be successful.

Or maybe you work in a matrix environment where every decision requires consensus. Or you’re in a customer-facing role, held accountable for NPS (net promoter score), but your hands are tied to make even small “common sense” choices to delight a customer without placing them on hold to escalate the issue.

Twenty-seven percent of respondents who said they’re experiencing more or significantly more workplace conflict in the last few years said it was due to “poor management practices.” This example of workplace conflict- Accountability without empowerment is certainly one aspect.

So how do you navigate this conflict cocktail?

A few Powerful Phrases can be helpful here… framing your conversations in four dimensions of productive conflict: Connection, Clarity, Curiosity and Commitment.

What to Say Next

 “I’m fully committed to our shared goals (CONNECTION) and am seeking ways to enhance our efficiency. Could we discuss expanding my decision-making authority to streamline our processes” (CLARITY)?”

By starting with a connection to the relationship and the outcomes, you open the door for solutions. And then, you follow up with a specific ask. Be sure to be prepared with specific suggestions.

“Our matrix structure has its strengths, but I believe we can improve our response time (CLARITY). What are your thoughts on creating a fast-track decision path for certain operational decisions” (CURIOSITY)?

With this Powerful Phrase, you’re starting from a positive frame of mind and inviting others to be part of the solution.

The Blown Fuse

This is one of the hottest trending examples of workplace conflicts, tensions between exhausted workers and strung-out customers.

Since the COVID-19 pandemic, many industries have found it more challenging than ever to attract and keep talent. Employees in the education, healthcare, service, and hospitality industries say they’re sick and tired of rude and hostile customers, students, and patients, grueling hours, and impossible demands.

And customers complain about long waits, poor service apathetic staff, and tip creep.

What to Say Next

Your connection G.O.A.T.s (Greatest of all Time) Powerful Phrases and habits are vital in these complex examples of workplace conflict, and you won’t want to miss chapter 32 on dealing with difficult customers. 

First, the connection G.O.A.T.s

“I care about ______ (you, your experience, your concern), and I’m confident we can find a solution we can all work with.”

Acknowledge the challenge, your difference of opinions, and your confidence that you can work through it together.

“Tell me more.”

Nothing builds connection more than being seen, and this Powerful Phrase gets there in just three words.

“It sounds like you’re feeling __________ is that right? (pause for affirmation. And that you for letting me know how you feel. ”

This Powerful Phrase is a tried-and-true relationship-building technique called “reflect to connect.” When you “reflect to connect” you’re not agreeing with what they’ve said or telling them you agree with their emotion. Rather you’re acknowledging how they feel You see them. When you reflect, you create a common starting place for the conversation.

And now a few for dealing with difficult customers.

“I’m so sorry this happened to you. Let’s fix this right now.”

A good start is always “I’m sorry,”  and acknowledging their concern or emotions.

“I know exactly what we need to do next and I’m on it. I’m not letting you go until we get this resolved.”

Building the customer’s confidence in the first forty seconds of the interaction is another great way to calm a concerned customer. This Powerful Phrase infuses confidence into the conversation and reassures the customer that you care.

Becoming a Master Mixologist.

The post Shaken, Not Stirred: 4 Examples of Workplace Conflict and How to Build Stronger Bonds appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

Your team’s under pressure to perform—fast. The stakes are high, the deadline looms, and emotions are running hotter by the minute. Just last week, your team was cruising along. They weren’t going to win any high-performing team awards, but things were working well enough. Sure, there were a few bumps in communication, and collaboration wasn’t always seamless, but nothing too disruptive.

But today you got… the news.

Suddenly, everything feels like it’s unraveling. Casual conversations have transformed into tense exchanges, misunderstandings are piling up, and people are tripping over one another.

Of course, it happens just when you need everyone at their best—focused, fast, and flawless. But instead of smooth execution, you’re dealing with constant rework and rising frustration.

Under stress, people move fast—but not always in the same direction, and certainly not with the same level of clarity.

So, what do you do when cracks start to show under the weight of tight deadlines and high expectations? How do you prevent the stress from spiraling into mistakes, drama, or even burnout?

Pressure doesn’t have to lead to panic—it can lead to progress. Let’s explore four dimensions of collaboration and a few of the habits that help your team not just survive pressure, but thrive.

4 Dimensions of Collaboration in High-Performing Teams

• Connection: Do We Know One Another as Human Beings?
• Clarity: Do We Have a Shared Understanding of Success
• Curiosity: Are We Genuinely Interested in One Another’s Perspectives and What’s Possible
• Commitment: Do We have a Shared Agreement

Connection: Do We Know Each Other as Human Beings?

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When your manager asks you for information, don’t just answer their question. Have a perspective. To get better at managing up, ask yourself three questions that will turn information into influence.

The Problem: Why Your Boss Is Frustrated

Every day we hear from frustrated executives buried in data. Their team sends them reams of information without context, PowerPoint decks that don’t answer the “obvious” question, or vague answers that lead to more questions.

And it’s all unnecessary. If your manager asks you for information and your answers don’t build your influence, or worse, cause frustration, you probably made one of a few mistakes.

Presenting Information: Common Managing Up Mistakes

Avoid these common mistakes when answering questions and presenting information.

Mistake #1: You Misinterpret or Underestimate the Ask

You’re swamped and moving fast. There’s so much to do and then your boss asks for an update. And you want to be responsive, so you quickly throw together a chart that shows the last twelve months. But you don’t explain why February’s numbers were so different. Now your manager wonders why you don’t care about the obvious issue.

You’re so close to the project that your focus is on twigs and leaves, not the tree…and much less the forest. Your manager asks you for information. So you bury them in minutia that’s meaningful to you – but they wanted your perspective on the project’s success. And now they have to ask again.

Your manager asks for your analysis. So you put together a tight description of what’s happening and why. But you don’t make any recommendations. And your frustrated manager wonders, “What am I supposed to do with this? Shouldn’t you be able to solve these problems?”

Mistake #2: You Think Your Boss Thinks Like You

Everyone has a natural style of how they get information and make decisions. But these styles differ from one person to the next.

Maybe you prefer to read. So you prepare excellent written emails and reports – that your manager ignores. Because she prefers to listen and talk through the information. Or, you like to see all the data when deciding, so you give them everything. But they just want a summary, or your suggestion.

Mistake #3: You Try to Stay Out of Trouble

Your manager asks for an update and you bury the bad news in a spreadsheet or a hundred-slide presentation. Rather than interpret the data and risk a negative reaction from your manager, you dump it all on them and leave them to figure it out.

Or you don’t offer a point of view or recommendation because you worry about how your manager will react.

After all, they can’t get mad at you if you said nothing wrong, right?

Well, wrong…of course they can still get upset. And now, to make it worse, you didn’t actually do your job because you didn’t lead.

Mistake #4: You Try to Look Too Good

There’s a time to show your work. But going overboard makes you look insecure, not competent.

When you showboat and point out how outstanding you are, you cast doubt as to your true capabilities. Worse, in the effort to show off, you miss the chance to genuinely help and build the influence you want. You’ll have much more influence managing up when you add true value.

Three Managing Up Questions to Turn Information into Influence

Avoid these four mistakes and add value by asking yourself three key questions. If you aren’t confident in your answers to any of the questions, use these communication tools and Powerful Phrases to maximize your influence.

1. What does your manager need?

This is the most important question to make sure that you add value. What does your manager actually need?

Ask yourself this question a couple times, from different angles.

Because your manager might not ask for what they need.

They’ll ask for what they think they need. Or they ask for the first part, but not the second and third pieces. Maybe they don’t understand the issue as well as you do, so they ask the totally wrong question. Or they don’t specifically ask for your recommendation, but they expect you to have one.

Here are ways to think about what your manager needs:

• How will they use the information? Will they make a decision? Pass it to someone else? Implement your suggestion?
• Quick or detailed? What level of confidence do they need? Do they need a precise, accurate answer, or is a quick range enough for now?
• Do they need nicely formatted to share with others or just an email with a simple answer?
• What are the next three questions your manager would naturally ask? Answer these.

Always have a perspective. Whether your manager asked for it, you need to be read to offer a point of view. You are closer to the work. What would you recommend?

If you’re not sure what your manager needs, there are a couple of questions you can ask to help clarify:

• Check for Understanding by saying, “Here’s what I’m hearing you need and how you will use the answers I give you: ________. Do I have that right?”
• When you don’t have enough information to check for understanding, you can draw out more information by asking: “I want to make sure I get you what you need. What will a successful update do for you?”

2. How do they need it?

When you work with a manager frequently, you can ask this question early in your relationship. If you don’t know the person making the request, include this question in your first conversation:

“How do you like to receive information?”

Some possibilities to explore include:

• Written, diagramed, or spoken
• Bullet point summaries or analysis
• Numbers, narrative, or both

When you can’t know how they need it, try this: start with a one-page brief, bulleted summary of key information and your recommendations. In the following pages, give them the data and analysis. Then make yourself available to discuss the report.

3. When do they need it?

You don’t want to waste time if they need it quickly. Nor do you want to drop everything and abandon your work to provide a report that could wait until next week.

The tool to help you manage these priorities is Scheduling the Finish.

You never want to leave a conversation that requires action without scheduling the finish by addressing three factors:

• Ideally, when will the task be complete?
• Is this workable, or do you need to resolve competing priorities?
• Is the scheduled finish on your calendar (and the calendar of anyone else involved)?

For example, your manager asks for an update on the sales figures for your newest product. You know she prefers written bullet points and the ability to ask clarifying questions.

First, you ask how she’ll use the data and whether she wants the actual data or a trend analysis. Then you schedule the finish by asking, “Ideally, when do you need this?”

She asks for the information by tomorrow afternoon.

You have time at 4:00 pm available to meet. But you also have to attend a marketing update in the morning that won’t leave you time for her update.

So, you tell her, “If I can skip that marketing meeting, I can send you the information at 3:00 and then we can do a quick video call at 4:00 so I can answer your questions? How does that sound?”

Your Turn

You can master the art of managing up, increase your influence, and get your manager the right information at the right time by answering three critical questions: What do they need? How do they need it? When do they need it?

We’d love to hear from you: what’s one of your best ways to get your manager the information they need to lead well and make good decisions?

You Might Also Like:

• Help Your Boss Stop Wasting Time with Bad Delegation
• Powerful Phrases to Win With a Moody Boss, Even a Dropper of F-Bombs
• Managing Up With Grace (How to Give Your Boss Better Feedback With Video)

The post Managing Up: Turning Information into Influence with Your Boss appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

Resolving Conflict: Recognizing When to Walk Away

0:00 – 2:00 Discover the heartbreaking realization from the Workplace Conflict and Collaboration survey: many people wish they had quit their jobs sooner due to unresolved conflicts. Learn how to recognize when it’s time to walk away.

2:00 – 4:00 David introduces the episode and welcomes guest Karin Hurt. Karin emphasizes the importance of knowing when to leave a conflict or a job.

4:00 – 6:00 Karin shares a significant experience from the Association of Talent Development (ATD) Global Conference, highlighting the widespread interest in resolving workplace conflicts.

6:00 – 8:00 David discusses the successful launch of their book, “Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict,” and its positive reception across various platforms.

8:00 – 10:00 Karin reflects on the overwhelming response at their booth during the conference. The response illustrates the practical need for conflict resolution strategies.

10:00 – 12:00 David and Karin, thank you for your support. They encourage you to pick up their book on managing workplace conflicts better.

Practical Strategies for Conflict Resolution

12:00 – 14:00 The conversation shifts to the episode’s main focus: understanding when to quit a conflict or job and offering key questions to ask yourself (see below).

14:00 – 16:00 Karin and David outline critical questions to consider(see below), such as the impact of the conflict on other areas of your life and overall well-being.

16:00 – 18:00 David emphasizes evaluating whether the conflict is pervasive within the organization or isolated to certain individuals.

18:00 – 20:00 Karin shares a personal story from her corporate days, demonstrating how a significant conflict led her to start the Let’s Grow Leaders blog, eventually transforming her career and personal life.

Key Questions to Ask Yourself

Here are some of the questions for determining when to walk away from a conflict or a job:

1. Have I tried?
   • Have you tried addressing the conflict using the available tools and phrases?
2. What do I gain or lose by quitting?
   • Consider the pros and cons of staying versus leaving, including the impact on your career, well-being, and future opportunities.
3. Is this conflict affecting other areas of my life?
   • Assess whether the conflict negatively impacts your health, relationships, or happiness.
4. How do I feel about how I am showing up?
   • Reflect on whether the conflict is causing you to behave in ways inconsistent with your values and self-image.
5. Is conflict a pervasive organizational problem or limited to one or two people?
   • Determine if the conflict is a symptom of larger systemic issues within the organization or is isolated to specific individuals.
6. Is there a pattern?
   • Consider if the conflict is a recurring issue or an isolated incident.
7. Is there another way to accomplish my goal here?
   • Explore alternative approaches or solutions to help you achieve your goals without quitting.

The post The Key to Resolving Conflict: Knowing When to Quit appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

Handling Passive Aggressive Coworkers

00:00 – Introduction to the Episode

The Leadership Without Losing Your Soul podcast provides practical leadership tools and strategies to achieve transformational results. Today’s episode, is all about dealing with passive aggressive coworkers. You will learn a dozen or more ways to handle this frustrating aspect of workplace conflict.

02:00 – Celebrating the Book Launch

Before diving in, thanks to everyone who has supported “Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict.” It’s been a bestseller in multiple categories! If you haven’t yet, please leave a review on Amazon—it helps others find the book. And don’t forget, if your organization buys 50 or more copies, you receive a complimentary virtual live online program.

04:30 – Understanding Passive Aggressive Coworker Behavior

So, what exactly is passive aggressive behavior? It’s when someone feels anger or hostility but doesn’t express it directly. Instead, they use underhanded tactics like snarky comments, withholding information, or backhanded compliments. It’s essential to recognize these behaviors and address them effectively.

06:45 – Examples of Passive Aggressive Behavior

Let’s talk about some common passive aggressive coworker behaviors. They might make snarky remarks like, “Oh, it must be nice to be the favorite,” or avoid responsibility by saying, “I forgot.” Recognizing these patterns is the first step to addressing them.

09:00 – Don’t Call It Out Directly

One key tip: never tell someone they’re being passive aggressive. It only makes them defensive. Instead, give yourself space, stay calm, and use specific phrases to address the behavior.

Powerful Phrases and Practical Strategies

11:00 – Powerful Phrases to Use

Here are some powerful phrases you can use:

• “I noticed…” Calmly describe what happened. For example, “I noticed you CC’d my manager on all your emails to me. Can we talk about that?”
• “What I hear you saying is…” This helps start a meaningful conversation. For instance, “What I hear you saying is that you feel like I’m getting more opportunities than I deserve. Is that right?”

13:30 – Focusing on the Work

Sometimes, the best way to deal with a passive aggressive coworker is to focus on specific goals or facts. Use phrases like:

• “Here’s what we’re accountable for…” This helps document commitments and removes opportunities for excuses.
• “This is what happened…” Calmly present the facts and invite others to review them.

15:45 – Asking for Help

If the behavior continues, it might be time to ask for help from a manager or HR. Use a phrase like:

• “I really want to make this work, and I need your help.” Approach the situation with humility and document specific instances of the behavior.

17:30 – Building Better Relationships

Remember, it’s not your job to change the other person, but these phrases can help improve your relationship with a passive aggressive coworker. Sometimes, you might even turn them into an ally.

19:00 – Additional Resources

If you like what you hear, grab a copy of “Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict.” Visit conflictphrases.com or letsgrowleaders.com for more resources, including a free conversation guide to help you discuss the book with your team.

21:00 – Conclusion

Thank you for tuning in and for your continued support. Remember, you can always reach out with specific conflicts or questions. Keep being the leader you’d want your boss to be.

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Does psychological safety take away the need for courage? Or does courage take away the need for psychological safety? The answer to both questions is a resounding NO. Both are– and will continue to be needed in a complex and uncertain world.”  –Dr. Amy Edmondson (in her foreword to Courageous Cultures)

If you want real psychological safety on your team, you need people to feel safe and encouraged to speak up and share their concerns and ideas. That’s important.  And not enough. You also need to equip them with the skills and words to do that well.

The question in this week’s “Asking for a Friend” is one we’ve been getting a lot. How do our books Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict and Courageous Cultures work together? What’s the best way to use them with my team?

Here’s the short answer.

How the Two Books Work Together

In “Courageous Cultures”, you get very practical ways to create psychological safety, to proactively create clarity about where you need remarkable ideas, to invite people in a way that they feel encouraged to share.  Powerful Phrases gives everyone on the team practical ways to have these conversations, even when they feel uncomfortable.

It would be easy to say, well Courageous Cultures is for leaders, for the culture builders (those making it safe) and Powerful Phrases is for everyone else, to help with confidence and competence in speaking up.  That is certainly a useful way to think about this.

And… the truth is what we’ve seen working with teams across a variety of industries all over the world, is hard conversations are hard at every level. When you’ve got tons of responsibility, the stakes are high, and stakeholder relationships are complex, it doesn’t get easier to “say no,” or deal with an angry boss, or a passive-aggressive co-worker.

The 4 Cs (and related habits), G.O.A.T.s, and Powerful Phrases will empower better collaboration and reduce stress no matter what role you are in.

That’s why we’ve invested so much time making it easy for you to read both of these books with your team, and to align on some clear actions and next steps to create better psychological safety and to empower everyone on the team to talk about what matters most.

Team Activities to Encourage Courage and Better Conversations.

A few months ago, we published, How to Read Courageous Cultures with Your Team. We gave you easy access to supplemental resources to read Courageous Cultures together and to create more clarity and curiosity in your team. If you’re looking for practical tools and techniques for your leadership team, that’s a great start.

Today, we want to ensure you have access to the Workplace Conflict and Collaboration Center, which has many activities to not just read Powerful Phrases together, but to have important conversations you need with one another to deal with today’s challenging workplace situations, including our Collaborative Conversations Guide.

If you are looking for team activities to empower EVERYONE at every level of your team to talk about what matters, or to collaborate through the complex conflict cocktails they’re faced with, this guide makes collaboration easier.

We would love to hear from you! Are you reading Courageous Cultures or Powerful Phrases for Dealing With Workplace Conflict with your team? What activities work best to help create psychological safety AND encourage courage by building practical skills?

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No one needs destructive, anger-fueled conflict at work. It’s corrosive and makes work miserable. But there’s another kind of workplace conflict that’s not only vital for a vibrant culture, but this kind of productive workplace conflict is also  the fuel for innovation, quality of life, and the better workplace today’s teams crave.

Who Wants More Conflict at Work?

In our World Workplace Conflict and Collaboration Survey we asked over 5000 people in 45+ countries about their experiences with workplace conflict. 70% of respondents said they’re experiencing the same or more conflict at work than just a few years ago.

But when you look into the 30% who say they have less conflict at work, half of those say the reason they’re experiencing less conflict is that they’ve hit the escape button. They said left a conflict-prone workplace. They told us they’re working from home and avoiding people.

And that might sound good—after all, who wants more conflict at work? Well, the answer is—we should all want…if not more, at least better, conflict at work.

To see why, let’s dive a little deeper into another question. We asked about the consequences of conflict at work. And many of the negative consequences you would expect were top of mind: stress (55%), employees leaving (33%), reduced productivity (30%).

But also on the list of consequences were:

• Improved quality of work (12%)
• Positive policy change (10%)
• More innovation or creativity (8%)

And these are just a few of the reasons you might need more conflict, not less, in your workplace.

4 Benefits of Workplace Conflict

One way to look at workplace is that the question isn’t ultimately about the quantity of conflict, it’s about what kind of conflict you have.

Most of the time, when people think of conflict, they immediately think of intense argument resulting in anger at one another, the silent treatment, or other forms of social violence (like shunning, discrimination, or harassment).

But with the right tools, conflict can also produce a much more pleasant workplace that’s more inclusive and does a better job serving its clients or customers.

Here are just a few benefits of productive workplace conflict:

1. Improved Workplace

Think about the values that guide your workplace. No matter what those values are, the values will conflict with one another at some point. Radical flexibility might come up against serving the customer with excellence. Now what?

These are productive conflict conversations that every high-performing culture will explore. As you have these conversations, you and your team can act more often in alignment with your values. You can change policies that don’t align with your values.

And you’ll have better relationship because trust is built on connection, credibility, reliability, and knowing that you have one another’s best interest at heart. Meaningful conversations that explore different perspectives and approaches improve all of these relationship-building attributes

Here are 12 Powerful Phrases to help your team genuinely connect and increase understanding.

2. More (and more effective) Solutions

When you and your team can safely challenge one another’s assumptions, you open yourself to a much larger and meaningful source of answers to your problems.

Your first solution is almost never as good as it could be with some exploration, revision, and poking holes. Invite the conflict – ask people to challenge your thinking. Show you what you haven’t considered. And create better solutions together.

Here are 12 Powerful Phrases to help your team show up with more curiosity.

3. Smarter Teams

Expectation violations are one of the biggest sources of workplace conflict. Each of us have understandings of the way the world works and we put those assumptions on other people. And of course, they won’t live up to them. How could they? They don’t even know the expectation exists.

Sometimes YOU don’t even know you have the expectation until somebody violates it.

Digging deeper when expectation violations hit will increase clarity. Actively seeking different perspectives helps you view problems from many directions and make more efficient and meaningful choices.

Speaking up with the information that only you have gives others a chance to make smarter, more informed decisions.

All that increased clarity makes everyone smarter.

Here are 12 Powerful Phrases to help your team invest in greater clarity.

4. Better Work

Combine those first three benefits of a better workplace, more solutions, and smarter teams and you can’t help but do better work.

Building trusted relationships, examining how you’re doing your work, and creating freedom to evaluate what doesn’t make sense gives everyone a chance to reduce waste, decrease avoidable employee turnover, and eliminate unintentionally destructive systems that undermine your culture.

Here are 12 Powerful Phrases to help your team create and keep meaningful agreements.

Make Me Smarter

If, despite all these benefits, you still hesitate to approach conflict situations with curiosity, or worry about “losing” to someone else’s perspective,  one way to overcome your hesitation is to focus on getting smarter.

What if you approached every disagreement as an opportunity to become smarter? Instead of looking at your colleague, boss, or team member as an obstacle, what if, instead, you asked them to make you smarter?

You might not say the words aloud (though you certainly could if you have a good relationship) but entering the conversation with the assumption that the other person has something that will make you smarter is a powerful way to sidestep that troublesome insistence on being right.

Your Turn

These are just a few of the benefits of productive workplace conflict.

We’d love to hear from you: What would you add? Have you been part of a conflict that you are grateful for? What made it productive?

The post Transforming Tension: How to Embrace the Benefits of Workplace Conflict appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

In a world with a constantly growing AI presence, where data is cheap, and you can easily outsource routine tasks to large language models, your decision making ability plays a more vital role than ever. Your ability to help your organization and teams make effective decisions is a competitive advantage and rare leadership skill. Three questions will help energize and clarify your decision making process.

When Decision Making Meetings Go Wrong

You’ve been there before. One of those awful meetings that turns into a painful slog through a swamp of half-hearted participation and conversations that go in circles.

Pretty soon someone says, “Sorry, I have to get to another call,” and everyone else looks at them with a mix of jealousy and frustration. The meeting ends with no decision made, an hour or more wasted, and the team’s morale drained from their inability to act.

When decision making meetings go wrong, one or more of these factors is usually in play:

• You don’t have the right people
• You don’t know who owns the decision
• You haven’t defined the success criteria

Invest in Clarity for Energetic Decision Making that Builds Morale

Missing clarity is at the heart of all three decision making morale busters. You can solve them by answering three key questions:

1. Who does this decision affect?
2. Who owns this decision?
3. What would a successful outcome do for each affected party?

Let’s look at each of these questions.

1) Who does this decision affect?

To make the best decision, make sure to include people who the decision affects in the process. You don’t need everyone. What’s the smallest group of people to get the needed input?

2) Who owns this decision?

Before discussion begins, clarify the person or people who will actually make the call. There are only three options:

• A single person decides (maybe you, maybe another subject matter expert)
• A group votes
• A group reaches consensus (where everyone can live with one outcome)

(To learn more about clarifying who attends decision making meetings and who owns the decision check out the Advanced Guide to Lead Meetings That Get Results and People Want to Attend)

3) What would a successful outcome do for you?

This final clarity question is critical to a successful decision, and yet we regularly see leaders skip it or assume that everyone has the same success criteria in mind.

But of course, they don’t, and so people talk past one another and frustration reigns.

You can’t reliably choose effective solutions if you don’t know what success looks like.

Let’s say your team is discussing a marketing opportunity with some newly available funds. If you jump into the discussion before establishing success criteria, how will you choose between different options?

Lela and Vinesh jump in, “Let’s hire actors and do a flash mob of the thriller dance. Then the zombies will transform at the end by shedding their overshirts and revealing our product tee shirt. It will be great for social!”

Mark and Sheila suggest, “We should really do one more booth at the new conference expo they just added at the end of the year. Those leads are usually solid.”

Osa and Vik listen for a moment and then add, “Let’s not limit ourselves here. There’s an opportunity for a partnership with the magic soda corp—they’re looking for someone to package with for a winter campaign.”

The conversation likely turns into a tug of war between two or three different positions who each argue for solutions that make sense to them.

The antidote to this confusion and frustration is to establish clear success criteria. If you’ve already got clear success criteria, don’t keep them a secret. Share them before anyone presents any ideas.

A Powerful Question

But if the criteria aren’t clear or haven’t been established for you, it’s up to you to ensure a shared understanding of what success looks like.

When you first ask key stakeholders what a successful outcome will do for them, you can build a set of success criteria that will both filter the ideas people bring to the table and then give the decision maker(s) a way to evaluate choices.

“What would a successful outcome do for you?” is one of our favorite of the G.O.A.T. (Greatest of All Time) Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict because it gets underneath what people really need. Instead of arguing for their position (zombies, booth, partnership), you learn what outcomes matter most.

Use Your Criteria to Evaluate Options

Suppose you ask the relevant stakeholders this question and get a resounding answer like, “We need to boost overall sales and leads for next year. A secondary, but important outcome is that need to improve perceived value for our existing channel partners.”

Now you’ve got some general criteria to work with. You might drive for more detail or numeric goals. But even if you get directional criteria like these, you are in a better place to evaluate options. You can ask each group to make their case relative to the success criteria in play.

Team flash mob might take zombies off the table (it would help with perceived partner value, but probably not have much effect on sales or leads.) The expo and partner-packaging folks can make their cases for both outcomes.

Before You Stop with the Options You Have…

You can also ask your team to reframe the opportunity and look for alternative ways to achieve the same or better outcomes.

This can be a fun exercise: “We’ve been talking about increasing our pipeline by 3%. What if we needed to increase it by 10% with the same resources? What might we do?”

Your Turn

It might feel obvious to clarify what success looks before you get into a decision making conversation. But it happens all the time and teams waste too much valuable time and energy talking past one another. Energize your decision making conversations by clarifying who should be there, who owns the decision, and critically, what will a successful outcome achieve.

We’d love to hear from you: how do you ensure decision making criteria are clear before you get into discussions about ideas?

You Might Like:

• Why Your Team Can’t Innovate When You Want Ideas and Try to Help
• Workplace Innovation: The Secret to Getting Better, Remarkable, Usable Ideas
• How to Train a Struggling Team Member to Make Better Decisions

The post The Roadmap to Clarity: Three Must-Have Steps in Your Decision Making Process appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

Improve Your Communication Skills With These Powerful Phrases

[00:00] David is ready to dive into his new book that offers over 300 phrases to handle workplace conflict. Today you’re getting just the top 12 to navigate those tricky office waters and boost your communication skills!

Boost Collaboration and Clarity

[00:59] Looking for words that work wonders in stressful work situations? David highlights how these 12 go-to phrases can destress your day, boost collaboration, and calm those challenging client interactions. And for the full arsenal, his book has over 300 phrases waiting for you!

[01:54] Exciting offer alert! If you grab 50 copies of David’s book before the year’s end, you get an exclusive one-hour session with the authors. Perfect for any team that navigates human interactions, which let’s face it, is all of us.

[03:26] Ever wonder why some phrases just stick? David explains that the best ones fit into four key conflict areas: connection, clarity, curiosity, and commitment. Starting with connection, phrases like “I care about you” set a positive, cooperative tone right off the bat, enhancing your communication skills.

Enhance Empathy and Connection

[04:45] Dive deeper into connection with simple yet powerful phrases. “Tell me more” and “It sounds like you’re feeling…” not only show empathy but also open doors to clearer communication, essential for effective communication skills.

[05:56] Shifting gears to clarity, David introduces phrases that cut through the confusion and align expectations. Phrases like “What would a successful outcome do for you?” This helps uncover real goals behind stated needs, sharpening your communication skills.

[07:43] More clarity comes from finding common ground with phrases like “Let’s start with what we agree on.” This can simplify and focus the conversation on shared goals.

[08:41] Curiosity can transform conflicts into opportunities for growth. Phrases like “I’m curious how this looks from your perspective” invite alternative viewpoints and defuse tension, enhancing your communication toolkit.

[11:33] Ready to empower others? Ask “What do you suggest we do next?” or “What can I do to support you right now?” to foster ownership and collaborative problem-solving.

[12:35] Finally, commitment is sealed with proactive steps like “What’s one action we can both agree to as a next step?” In addition, scheduling follow-ups to ensure solutions are not only discussed but also enacted and reassessed. These phrases with solidify your communication skills in the process.

Click here for FREE Sample Chapters

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