One of the true delights during this challenging time of social distancing is watching the creative use of technology—not only as we work from home, but in our personal lives as well. The world is proving that connecting with your friends and family over video is an easy and inexpensive way to bring a bit of joy and connection during these scary times.

I’ve gathered with my yoga friends for a bit of prana meditation and yoga Nidra, sang with my women’s a capella group and hosted a virtual happy hour for our family.  David played hours of some complicated game I don’t understand over Zoom with his childhood friends.

No, it’s not the same as being there. But there’s a poignant upside of doing the best we can from where we are. Asking “How can we?” while we connect in love, solidarity, and support.

I’ve also been buoyed by watching the clever leadership of friends over social media, hosting remote movie nights and dance parties.

That’s the essence of leadership, isn’t it? Seeing a need and finding a way to make it happen.

Conversation Starters For Connecting With Friends and Family Over Video

It struck me that connecting with friends and family over video might feel intimidating if remote meetings are not your normal jam. So I’ve put together some ideas to help get you started.

A Waterfall of Words

This is a technique we’ve been using for years in our live-online programs, leveraging the chat function.

Start with priming the conversation, “Okay, get your fingers on the keyboard, and type in your short (one or two words) answer to this question.”

And then give a prompt.

• What’s one food have you stockpiled to ensure you absolutely won’t run out?
• What’s one thing you’re grateful for today?
• Would you rather (take a hike…or complete a puzzle; order take-out or cook a fancy meal; read a book or watch a movie.)
• What’s the best movie you’ve watched so far?
• If you were coming to my house for dinner, what would you bring?

Show and Tell

Invite your family and friends to share something creative they’ve been working on during this time of social distancing. It’s fun to discover the poems, stories, and songs being written, wood being carved, and other endeavors.

Virtual Sing-Along

Pick an easy, inspiring or fun song and invite everyone to sing along. Worst case it will be good for a good laugh. Sweet Caroline (click here for Karaoke version) works particularly well if you’re going for silly. Extra points if you go Jimmy Fallon style with kid’s instruments or pots and pans.

We closed with Let it Be. Powerful despite the delays with the connection. My cousin called it a “round.” Yeah, let’s go with that.

Go Deeper

Of course, another benefit of connecting with friends and family over video is to have deeper conversations about what’s going on and how you can best support one another.

Some conversation starters:

• What’s something beautiful you’ve noticed this week?
• How are you feeling?
• What is making this time particularly challenging for you?
• Have you found approaches to stay grounded during this time? What are they?
• How can we be most helpful?
• What ideas do you have for how we can continue to support one another during this time?

It’s been amazing to me to see how the simplest prompts lead to significant conversation.

Your turn.

I’d love to hear about your experiences and best practices. What are you doing to stay connected with family and friends over video?

Bonus: A Practical Guide to the Logistics Behind Better Video Meetings

We built this video guide to assist our clients in transitioning to remote meetings at work. These easy tips apply when spending time with friends and family over video as well.

See Also:

How to Connect Friends and Family While Social Distancing

How to Lead Through Urgent Change and Strain

Developing Leadership Skills in Children: 11 Ways to Grow Your Kids

How to Lead a Team That Suddenly Has to Work From Home

The post How to Better Connect With Your Friends and Family Over Video appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

Today we answer the very important question, how can we grow confidence in children, with more questions. Questions you can ask to help your children continue to grow toward becoming remarkable leaders and human beings.

19 Powerful Questions to Grow Confidence in Children

Framed well—powerful, open-ended questions can help children gain a better understanding of their skills and abilities as well as to consider the contribution they’re already making in the world. Here are a few of the favorites we’ve used over the years in raising our own children and in work with other youth.

Asking any one of these questions can be the start of a great conversation. And of course, it gives you a remarkable opportunity to listen well. Nothing builds confidence faster than truly being heard.

Questions to Help Children Tap into Their Strengths

1. Would you please draw a picture of something you do very well?

2. What are some of the nicest things your friends say about you?

Okay, this one’s old school Mister Rogers, but it’s a keeper.

3.  What makes you special?

4. Let’s make a list of 10 things you are really good at. Which of these make you most proud and why?

Questions to Help Cultivate Awareness and Compassion

5. How did you help someone today?

6. I’m so happy about how you help our family. What do you think are some of the biggest ways you help?

7. What do you think that person is feeling right now?

8. When they’re aware they’ve hurt someone: How can you apologize?

Questions to Help Children Overcome Setbacks

Almost any kind of “how can you?” question works well here.

9. How can you be most helpful in this situation?

10. What else could you try?

Nothing builds confidence faster than tapping into past success.

11. Have you ever had something like this happen before? What did you do then to fix the problem?

12. When they make a mistake and spill or break something, rather than freak out, ask: And now what do you do?

Questions to Encourage Children to Try Something New

13. What worries you most about _________?

14. Remember when you were so scared to try _________? And now it’s ________ (one of your favorite things to do, places to go…)

15. Remember when mommy/daddy did ______? I was super scared too. What do you think were some of the ways I helped myself to become braver?

16. When facing an overwhelming problem: What is the smallest thing you can do to solve this? (eg: Pick up a single sock. Take out a sheet of paper. Once that is done, ask again: Now what is the smallest thing can do?)

Questions to Help Children Take a Stand

17. What is one problem in your community that more than ten people you know want to solve? What could you do in the next week to help make that better?

18. Why does that make you so angry? What do you think you could say to help your friends understand how you feel?

Super Secret Bonus Question

When asking these questions your kid might respond with an “I don’t know.” That’s when the super secret bonus question comes in.

19. Let’s pretend you did know. What would you do then?

Sometimes kids (and grown-ups too) get stuck when asked for solutions. They’re afraid to sound stupid or that it might not be the “right” answer. By moving the conversation into the imagination, it helps them tap into their natural creativity and makes it safe to explore options, rather than having to be “right.”

Your Turn

What is one of your favorite questions to help grow confidence and leadership in children?

Other Topics Related to Growing Confidence in Children

Have you seen our new Children’s Leadership Book? Click here to learn more.

Ten Tips on How to Build Confidence in Kids (Working Mother)

9 Secrets of Confident Kids (Parents)

How Being a Parent Improves your Leadership Competency

Children’s Books on Leadership: Questions to Inspire Young Thinking

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When we talk about developing leadership skills in children, we’re often met with a sigh, “Oh my kids not ready for that…” And yet,  most of us take a deliberate approach to developing other skills in our kids early on. We teach them to swim, to ride a bike, to read, and read music, as early as we can. Leadership development should be no different. The earlier we can develop leadership skills in children the more natural these skills will feel.

Dear Karin and David,

You talk about growing leaders. How do I grow leadership skills in my young children? I’m trying hard to give my children the best advantage in life I can, but I can’t find much out there on how to help them develop as leaders. What would you recommend?

Signed,

AMomGrowingLeaders

Dear Mom Growing Leaders,

Yes! Thank you for asking this important question. It’s a subject we’re very passionate about. Here are few insights from our experience. We hope others will join this conversation and share their experiences and approach as well.

11 Ways to Develop Leadership Skills in Children

Start with lots of love and building self-esteem. Too many grown-ups with power mess things up because they’re still dealing with childhood muck. Be a role model, and know they’re always watching. Beyond that, here are a few of our favorite approaches for building leadership skills in children.

1. Teach them to give.

Join them in volunteer activities talk about the “why” as much as the “what.” Help them look for needs in everyday situations, and to consider how they can improve the scene. Help young children delight in giving and call it leadership. Averie’s experiences building homes in Mexico as a child shaped her leadership roles in college and her eventual career. Learning the servant part of servant leadership is as important as anything else when helping your children develop as leaders. You can help them to find the joy in their work and school assignments.

2. Talk to them like grown-ups.

Young children are smarter than they look. Talk about current events. Expose them to people who think differently than you and help them learn to listen and respectfully articulate their own point of view.

3. Give them a say in some family decisions.

Pick some decisions where you don’t need control. Invite your young children to brainstorm creative options. Encourage each family member to listen to one another’s viewpoints before deciding as a family.

4. Nurture a love of reading.

Read together and talk about the characters and relationships in the stories. For a list of great books to read with your young children click here. (one of the most popular posts every on Let’s Grow Leaders)  We would love to have you add your additional suggestions in the comments on that post (we received some great additions from other readers.)

5. Bring them along and give them a role.

Kids love to see mommy and daddy in action. We’ve taken our children with us as we work and travel, given them concrete roles ranging from working the Verizon booth at a Festival to working the expo floor and promoting our book in Singapore. We’ve explained what we’re doing and why, and ask for their insights. Seb has seen our Diaper Genie™ talk so many times he can give it himself. See also  A Great Way to Teach Your Kids About Leadership.

6. Admit when you screw up.

Talk about your leadership mess-ups. Kid’s need to know that leaders aren’t perfect and that mistakes are all part of their learning. One of the best ways to develop leadership skills in children is to show them you’re still growing too.

7. Hang out with other leaders

So they can see leaders are regular people too. We’ve even included Sebastian on some of our Skype conversations in prepping for our International work—makes it much more meaningful when they meet in person. Sebastian has built his own relationships with leaders around the world and that can be fun for the whole family. Averie regularly spent time with David’s team-leaders, Directors, and Board members, developing her own friendships and business role-models.

8. Teach them to craft and deliver a great prayer (or toast) at family gatherings.

“Let’s talk about why we’re gathered and what people may want God to hear ” or “Let’s find some words that would make everyone here feel special before we sit down to eat.” It’s so much fun to see what they come up with. After a few times with some guided help, it’s likely all they’ll need is a nod from you and they’ll know what to do.

9. Encourage connections.

Cultivate an awareness of other people, each person’s dignity, and the negative effect of labels. Help them to connect by showing interest. If you want to learn about networking for you or your children this is the post.

10. Help them find their own voice.

Help them find cultivate their passions and to talk and write about what they love. If you can get them on a stage early on, it will make speaking to an audience seem like a natural part of life. They might by-pass that fear of so many grown-ups by speaking early and often.

11. Ask great questions.

Asking great questions is one of the best ways to help your managers be more strategic. It’s also a great way to develop leadership skills in your kids. “What’s another approach we could try?” “Why do you think that happened?” “What’s the next best choice we could make here?”

Developing leadership skills in children is one of the most important ways to grow our future. Investing just a little time with any of these techniques each week can go a long way in helping your children grow.

See also: Issues Families Face: Are You Raising a Leader?

See our new children’s leadership book, Glowstone Peak.

And listen to Sebastian and Karin’s interview on Spark Creator’s Podcast.

The post Developing Leadership Skills in Children: 11 Ways to Grow Your Kids appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

The other evening, I was sitting at the kitchen table putting the finishing touches on next week’s keynote for the American Health Quality Association. They’d invited me to talk about “finding joy in your work,” a subject that’s at the core of our entire Winning Well philosophy, but that I’m not usually invited to address head-on. I kept feeling I was about 90% there when my son, Sebastian, walked in and plopped a crinkled sheet of notebook paper down my keyboard.

“Mom, here’s my story for the 5th-grade graduation speech contest. What do you think?”

I read the words he’d painstakingly written, full of the usual “I’d like to thank my parents and teachers.” I’m not sure if it was the look on my face or the fact that he knew it wasn’t his best work, that revealed my concern.

“It’s not that good, I know,” Seb winced.

Now here comes one of those awkward parenting moments. Perhaps you’ve been there. I know he can do better. I mean, this kid is a storyteller. In fact, he explains some of our concepts better than us.

See Sebastian Hurt on ditching the diaper genie and speaking the truth.

But I also don’t want to be one of THOSE moms creating too much pressure, particularly around speaking. My wish for him is that he will always find joy in his work.

But Seb and I have a deal. We tell one another the truth.

“Sebastian you are an amazing storyteller. This speech doesn’t just tap into that. You’ve got an important message to share– I imagine if you spend a little more time, you can find it. If you want to go with this speech you can, but if you want to take it to another level I think you’re not that far off.  Let me know if you want my help.”

And then, Sebastian curled up into a fetal position and said “I’m not changing it. It’s fine.”

Finding the Joy at Work

The next morning at 6 am, Seb crawled into my bed and says, “Mom go get your computer, we’ve got to workshop this.”  Yikes, “Workshop?” I guess he’s been hanging around too many professional speakers. But that’s what we did. We talked about what the audience needed most. We mined for stories. We debated deep or broad– (all relative for the three minutes he had to fill.)

“Okay. I’ll think about it some more at indoor recess. It’s raining.”

When I picked him up for school, he hadn’t even shut the car door before he shared the advice three of his favorite teachers had given when he asked for input. Good stuff. Then we went to the back porch to finish the “workshop.”‘ And Bam. He had it. His speech was FANTASTIC. This child who the evening before had been ready to give up, was literally running around our home dancing to the “Happy” station on Pandora.

Joy.

Joy in his work.

Bam. The missing element from my speech.

Yup. Joy is contagious.

I thought about the times I’ve had the most joy in my work. And when I’ve seen the most joy in others. There’s a lot of joy that can come from working really hard at something you care about, and honing your skills to build your capacity to accomplish it. Sure there’s joy in the outcome, but there’s also joy in perseverance and growth. Joy comes from working really hard until you get it right.

Joy comes from rocking your role.

When we’re feeling joyless, it’s easy to give up. But just past that, joy is lurking.

See Also: Thriving in the New Abnormal: How to Support Your Team

The post How to Have More Joy at Work appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

I was recently interviewed for this awesome article by Mryna Beth Haskell: Are You Raising a Leader? She does a great job of pulling together several nice perspectives. I’ve included an excerpt here, and hope you will read on.

Are You Raising a Leader?

Some children seem to effortlessly fall into the role of leader, no matter what the environment. However, there are those children who are late bloomers. These are the ones who blend in early on, but blossom with maturity and become presidents of their high school class or captains of a varsity team.

What does this tell us about the development of leadership qualities in our youth? Why do some young people take charge of school projects and playground activities with ease, while others are happy to take the proverbial back seat? Are leaders born or nurtured?

---

NURTURE OR NATURE?

“Talent for leadership is a combination of nurture and nature. Leadership requires the building of a strong central core,” says Gail Gross, Ph.D., Ed.D., a nationally recognized family and child development expert, author, and educator.

Karin Hurt, CEO of Let’s Grow Leaders, LLC (letsgrowleaders.com), adjunct professor at the University of Maryland and prominent keynote speaker, explains, “Important leadership skills can be nurtured in all children. Of course, some personalities will be more drawn to leadership roles, but the truth is that every one of us will face situations in our lives where strong leadership skills are necessary to accomplish something we believe in.”

If nurture is a substantial influence, how can parents encourage their children to embrace those qualities that successful leaders possess? Continue reading 

Also, if you’re new here, and interested in the subject, you may also like to take a look at Alli Polin’s and my FREE eBook, A Parent’s Guide to Leadership.

The post How to Help Your Children Grow as Leaders appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

Most moms bring maturity and a level of endurance to their leadership that’s hard to gain as quickly from other leadership roles. I’ve never had a problem with a leader on my team related to her mommyness. And I’d rather work for a boss (and with peers) who have children. Turns out I’m not alone.

A study done by WorldWit found that 69% of workers would rather work for a mom than a non-mom, while only 2% preferred a non-mom.

7 Reasons Good Moms Make Amazing Leaders

So in the spirit of Mothers Day, I bring you 7 reasons moms make amazing leaders. Does this apply to Dads too? Of course, but it’s Mothers Day, so here we go.

1. It takes a lot to shock them

My mom’s favorite story is when I ate the diaper pail deodorizer. I’ve got some doozies from my own kids. Moms deal with such stupidity around the clock. So it takes more than a little workplace nonsense to get them rattled.

2.They take the long view

Moms invest deeply for the long run. They know that every move won’t be perfect, but they’re going for the long-term impact. Good moms and amazing leaders see mistakes as an opportunity to grow.

3. Juggling is a way of life

For most moms, juggling has become an important survival skill. This translates well to prioritizing and getting a heck of a lot done. And in all that juggling, good moms learn to keep perspective on what matters most.

4. They’re resourceful

No funding? Ask a mom to figure out a way to make it happen. Moms have to get creative and make the most of what they’ve got lying around.

5. They have to act like grown-ups

My friend says that she considers a finished book report a win if the kid is the only one crying. Moms get enough drama at home, they don’t have the energy to get sucked into more of it at work.

6. They learn to speak simply and check for understanding

Moms know that just because you ask a kid to do something, doesn’t mean they heard you. They learn to double-check to ensure the message is clear.

7. It’s all about influence

Because mommy said so doesn’t work. Moms learn to influence and inspire the behaviors they most want to see in their children.

Thank you, moms (and dads) for all you do to grow the future–and for translating those skills to your day job.

You May Also Enjoy These Articles on Developing Leadership in Children

Developing Leadership Skills in Children: 11 Ways to Grow Your Kids

Children’s Books on Leadership: Questions to Inspire Young Thinking

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Why the Pic Describes the Entrepreneurial Mom Journey.

This pic was taken just before the 3 of us sang a customized-lyrics-changed rendition of Sunrise Sunset for my parents 50th anniversary party this weekend. Here’s how the pic’s a metaphor for the journey.

• It’s not easy (Seb’s broken arm)
• Ben’s always helping.
• It’s not elegant (I realized the new dress shirt didn’t fit over the cast, and in the mode of just about to give a party… hacked off the sleeve).
• We didn’t have enough rehearsals.
• Thank God for clutch players.
• We worked as a team.
• We made important and meaningful connection.
• We listened and blended.
• There was joy in the song, for the singers and for those we were hoping to touch.

Thanks for being on this journey as we work together to make a joyful noise.

Namaste. P.S. If you’re interested in leadership and parenting, you can also download our FREE ebook, A Parent’s Guide to Leadership from the sidebar. For more of our family’s extended shenanigans.

The post On Being an Entrepreneur Mom: The Inside Story appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

“A man should look for what is, and not for what he
thinks should be.”

~ Albert Einstein

Oh, there’s big inspiration in success and possibility, but be sure it resonates with your life strategy. It’s easy to measure a single dimension of success by trophies and other trappings. Great leaders and great human beings set their own benchmarks of success.

Laura’s Story

“I just love coming to the National Speakers Association convention, but I had to stop coming for a while.”

I was sure my new friend, Laura, (not her real name) was going to tell me about tight finances, a booked business calendar, or kid’s soccer schedules.

Instead Laura confided:

“Don’t get me wrong. The convention has always been amazing. The trouble is, I would be totally happy before I came. I loved my life. I had a strong business which I juggled well with the priority of raising my children. But then I would come to the convention and see how much everyone else was doing to build their speaking career, and I would get depressed thinking of all the things I should be doing.  For a while it was just easier to stay away.”

“How do you feel about your choices now?” I asked. Laura lit up:

“Fantastic, my kids are all good human beings doing well in the world. I was able to involve them in some of my travel as I built the business, and also to be around. I built a strong foundation for my career and now that the kids are older, I’m making more discretionary money which we’re using for big family vacations with our grown kids. They want to hang out with us. I feel really good about my choices. I have no regrets.”

We talked about motherhood and values, and raising children deliberately (and saving money for vacations). I couldn’t resist: “You might really enjoy my e-book on developing leadership in kids…it’s free.

“Want me to send you a copy?”

“No way! She replied.”

Now I was a bit puzzled, surely she would resonate.

Laura shared matter of factly:

“Every time I read a book like that I feel I SHOULD have written it, and it makes me sad.”

I imagine more than a few folks have told her she SHOULD write a book.The most dangerous “shoulds” were still lingering inside her.

The Power of Shoulds

Shoulds are powerful and dangerous. “Should haves” are an energy-sucking waste of time. Be sure your shoulds are your own. If they won’t shut up, turn your “should haves” into concrete plans.

The post The Most Dangerous Way to Measure Success appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

The post Parents as Leadership Coaches appeared first on Let's Grow Leaders.

The final evening’s entertainment was a magic show.

My son, Sebastian, was lucky enough to be selected as the “assistant.” I wasn’t shocked by his hammy performance (he comes by that naturally). It’s what happened next that intrigued me.

As we exited the auditorium, people approached my son and began waving and congratulating him from across the room. He had stories about everyone. “Oh those are the women who taught me Mexican dominos at the pool, they live in Bri-ain,” trying to work his Liverpudlian accent, “but are really from Daaaalllas,” adding a drawl.

“You remember Abe, he calls himself the sausage king. He’s half deaf but likes to play the drums.”

The pattern continued as we hopped on the elevator. “She’s the mommy of the girl I played ping-pong with on Tuesday.” And then on the way to dinner. And then again in the customs line the next day. This kid had connections.

The truth is most kids make friends more easily than grown-ups. We start being open to new connections and grow ourselves out of it.

What Kids Can Teach Us About Networking

Kids can teach us a lot about networking. Try working a few of their approaches into your networking.

1. Kids have no agenda.  They don’t think, “Gee, if I meet this girl, maybe she’ll introduce me to her brother with the Pokemon shirt. He may have a card in his collection I need.” Nope, they just join in and see what happens. They build relationships for the sake of relationships.
2. Kids are open to new relationships. If someone introduces themselves, they don’t question motive.  Kids don’t wonder, “What’s this guy really want?”  They get past the small talk sooner. “Yeah, my math teacher’s really mean too … but maybe it’s me, I hate math.”
3. Kids play. You’re going to meet a lot more people playing in the pool than on the deck. Kids get in the pool. Play leads to natural interaction and builds relationships.
4. Kids share toys. Most kids are taught to share their toys, and doing so leads to friendships. Grown-ups lose this instinct. I’m always amazed in my fitness class by grown-ups fight over weights that don’t even belong to them. You can only use one set at a time, but everyone likes to have choices in front of them, just in case. Asking the person one mat over to “borrow” their weights typically leads to a dirty look. No one proactively offers. Most grown-ups don’t follow the same rules they teach their kids.
5. Kids follow-up.  When they meet someone they like, they attach more quickly. “That was fun, are you going to the kid’s club after dinner? Wanna meet at the pool again tomorrow?” They don’t call it networking. They have no system, they just ask.
6. Kids bounce back. – No one likes to feel rejected. But most kids seem to accept casual slights for what they are. They don’t over-analyze. “What happened to John?” “Oh, he didn’t want to play anymore.” They move on. Which of these approaches do you need to try in your networking?
   

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 Children’s Books On Leadership: Questions to Inspire Young Thinking

The Biggest Networking Mistake

How to Network: 18 Networking Tips You Can Use Today

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